If you prefer to read this message, I have provided the words below:
This is a message about forgiveness. And as stated in the hilarious 2005 movie, Just Friends, “forgiveness is more than saying sorry.”
But why is forgiveness more than saying sorry? Let’s investigate…
“The ways of right-living people glow with light; the longer they live, the brighter they shine.”
(Proverbs 4:18) -MSG
The longer we live, the more we experience and the longer we practice living; therefore, the longer we live, the better at life we should be. GOD provides new and different ways for us to collect wisdom as we travel through our journey in life. Here’s some wisdom I have for you: you poop. (I know — insightful, right?) And you poop because your body has a filtering system: your body keeps the nutrients from the food you consume and it discards the rest. Your body rejects and tosses out what you don’t need; therefore, you poop. Just as our bodies have a filtering system for the food we eat, we are meant to live our lives with a filtering system for our minds that keeps the good and discards the bad. After many years of living and filtering, we will become as a safe with stored treasures within our minds. If we travel through life only keeping what is good and ridding of what is bad, we will be a collection of what is good at the end of our lives. Sadly, many people collect the bad and refuse to let go of it and end up as a jar full of poop.
Have you ever caught fireflies (lightning bugs) and put them in a jar? If you catch enough of them, that jar will turn into a lantern. We are like a jar that can either be filled with fireflies or poop. The jar is the Christian; the firefly is the good in life. The longer we live, the more fireflies (good) we collect and put in our jar, the brighter the light will shine! We then become a lantern of light that shines into the darkness of this world – we will then attract those who are lost in the darkness! The more we filter and the more good we store within us, the brighter we will shine!
However, we must never put the frog (the bad) in the jar with our good (the fireflies) – the frog will devour the light-bearing fireflies! The negative thoughts you keep inside of you will destroy the good; the bad corrupts, contaminates, and eliminates the good you desire to keep. Peace will not be possible so long as the frog is in the jar with the fireflies.
We must filter and discard the bad! A refusal to forgive someone will rot you from the inside-out and rob you of your peace and blessings. Do you have bitterness? Resentment? A desire for revenge? Anger? Those emotions are connected with a refusal to forgive. If you truly forgave someone, you wouldn’t harbor that bitterness or resentment within you. If you truly forgave someone, you wouldn’t possess a desire for revenge or wish for bad things to happen to that person. If you truly forgave someone, you wouldn’t celebrate due to that person’s downfall. If you truly forgave someone, your anger would have transformed into peace. If you truly forgave someone, your forgiveness would be revealed by your willingness to love that person. Is there anyone in your life whom you believe does not deserve forgiveness? You need to examine why you believe that person doesn’t deserve forgiveness.
Forgiveness. What’s it all about anyway? Well, forgive me, but it is my intention to take you out of your comfort zone…
Do you remember the rock star, Alice Cooper? The master of Shock Rock who was considered by many to be the ultimate showman? The Rolling Stone Album Guide once called Alice Cooper the world’s most “beloved heavy metal entertainer.” Well, the master of Shock Rock shocked many when he opened up in an interview in March of 2006:
“I used to celebrate moral decay, the decadence of it. I can look back on what I did then and what I’m doing now and they’re two different things. But at the time I was the poster boy for moral decay, you know. So yeah, I’ve got a lot to be forgiven for… Out of ignorance, I thought I was doing the right thing. I was totally in agreement that every guy should sleep with every girl and drink as much as they can. I don’t believe that now. I don’t believe in it, because I see how destructive it is.”
(Interview – KNAC.com)
Alice Cooper admitted that he needed to be forgiven. But who doesn’t need to be forgiven? Don’t we all need to be forgiven?
“There is not a righteous person on earth who always does good and never sins.”
(Ecclesiastes 7:20) -Voice
[see also: 1Kings 8: 46-50; Psalms 143:2; Proverbs 20:9; Romans 3:10]
What have you done and why do you need to be forgiven? I can think of many things I’ve done in my past that were evil. And by the way, if your actions aren’t done out of love, then they’re evil. Have you ever made a selfish decision? To be selfish is to be evil because GOD commanded us to be selfless and to love others. And to love others, we must place them above ourselves. Read the following Scriptures and ask yourself if you are in alignment with GOD’s Word: Matthew 16:24-26; 23:11-12; Mark 8:34-36; Luke 9:23-25; Romans 9:1-3; 1Corinthians 10:24; 2Corinthians 6:3; 12:15; 2Timothy 2:10.
Are you in alignment with what is written in GOD’s Word? How often do you place yourself before others and make decisions to serve yourself? The story in Matthew 18:21-35 should help us all to understand the importance of forgiveness:
“Then Peter came to him and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’
‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven!’
‘Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. [10,000 talents: a single talent was worth about 20 years worth of labor; about 2,000 lifespans.]
He couldn’t pay, so his master ordered that he be sold—along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned—to pay the debt. But the man fell down before his master and begged him, “Please, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.”
Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. [100 denarii. A denarius was equivalent to a laborer’s full day’s wage. So, about 100 days of labor.]
He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. “Be patient with me, and I will pay it,” he pleaded. But his creditor wouldn’t wait. He had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full. When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him everything that had happened. Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, “You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?”
Then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt. That’s what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart.’ ”
(Matthew 18: 21-35) -NLT
When Jesus told us to forgive someone seventy times seven times, He did not instruct us to forgive someone 490 times but not on the 491st offense. If you were to count how many times you forgave someone — especially up to a number so high as 490 — one would almost certainly only be counting with intentions of being able to counter attack or walk away once incident #491 came about. Plus, why would we count how many times we have forgiven someone if we have truly forgiven that person? Would we allow that frog in our jar? Would we allow ourselves to be consumed with the details of our forgiveness and hang onto the heavy burden of weighty numbers?
The point Jesus was making is the same point He made when He instructed us to turn the other cheek, give someone our clothes, walk the second mile, give freely, and love our enemies (see Matthew 5:38-48). We are not to condemn someone for their sin(s) because we are not the Judge (see Luke 6:37-38). [Of course, that doesn’t mean we can’t point out sin in someone’s life, it just means that we are not the ultimate Judge who should make the judgment as to whether someone is sentenced to Heaven or Hell.] The point of forgiving someone is to clean the slate, not to keep tallying up numbers on the slate. We are to go above and beyond in our love. Forgiveness isn’t a trade defined by special stipulations that would bring the act of forgiveness to be null and void if someone stumbled. Forgiveness is not quid pro quo; we do not forgive a person in order to receive what we perceive to be a right response that would please us. We are not to forgive someone in order to make that person act a certain way that pleases us.
Christ Jesus died on the cross for our sins. Jesus forgave us even though He knew of the evil we would commit. With all the wrong that we have done in our lives, we have built up a debt that we can never repay; however, Jesus forgave us and cleared our entire debt!
Forgiveness is only possible with love. Is there someone in your life you believe does not deserve forgiveness? …If someone came to mind when I asked you that question, you need to let go and finally forgive. It’s time. From a spiritual standpoint, you are withholding GOD’s blessings for yourself because of your inability to forgive someone whom Jesus has already died for and forgiven. It’s wasted energy. Even if the person you’re thinking of is completely evil in your sight — perhaps a murderer? — your unwillingness to forgive is only placing a frog in your jar, devouring your peace and light, and causing you more pain.
Ponder on the person you have trouble forgiving. Why does this person desire to hurt you? Or does this person desire to hurt you at all? Is it possible that he/she does not have intentions to harm you, but that you get hurt because of miscommunication? But if this person does have malicious intent towards you, perhaps that person sees in you what he/she wishes that person could be. Perhaps that person is so wrecked and pained within that he/she lashes out. Some people have never learned the proper way to express emotions in a healthy manner. Whatever the case, it is easy to forgive someone when you place yourself in his/her shoes and realize that he/she hurts others because that person is hurt and broken inside his/herself.
As a believer and a follower of Christ Jesus, I find it easier to forgive someone once I realize he/she is lost and needs to be saved. Compassion overwhelms me and I understand that he/she needs love. I used to be an atheist and full of anger, sadness, and confusion. I used to mock Christians. I can tell you from experience that I had lashed out at others because I was broken and hurt inside. But I got saved at the beginning of 2004. Because I used to be the person who was capable of [intentionally] hurting others, I can relate and understand. I now find it somewhat easy to place myself in others’ shoes. Because I once needed forgiveness (even more than I do now), I understand the need to forgive others. And I’m not saying that I never need forgiveness now that I’ve been saved and am a Christian. I still need to be forgiven by others. I still make mistakes and I still have potential to hurt others; however, if I do hurt others, it is never intentional. But I still have moments where I need to be forgiven — especially for my thoughts. And when I have those moments, I make sure that I confess, I repent, ask for forgiveness, and then make a conscious effort to once again live my life aligned with GOD’s will.
But what if the person you have trouble forgiving isn’t an unbeliever and lost but is a fellow Christian who proclaims to be righteous? It is not your duty to change a person. If you love the person and forgive that person, you have done your part.
The person who hurts you needs an example of Christ in his/her life. The people who hurt you need love. But you can only be that example to that person if you forgive him/her. Unfortunately, it’s rather difficult to express love to someone whom you harbor bitterness or resentment towards. Through Christ who strengthens you, you can forgive that person. You can release yourself from that prison. Pray to GOD and ask for strength to forgive. Pray to GOD and ask for patience. Pray to GOD and ask for endurance so that you may forgive for as long as it takes. Praise GOD! All things are possible through Him who strengthens us! Release that anger/resentment/bitterness and allow GOD’s blessings to flood your life. A refusal to forgive is like a dam that holds back water, but the water is our blessings. Don’t hold back the blessings of GOD any longer! It’s time for forgiveness.
“Forgive other people when they sin against you. If you do, your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive the sins of other people, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
(Matthew 6: 14-15) -NIRV
“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.”
(Matthew 6: 14-15) -MSG
Do you have a frog in your jar? A frog in your jar will devour your light. Without the light, there is only darkness. With darkness comes pain, suffering, sadness, confusion, frustration, anxiety, stress, worry, doubt, fear, and hatred. And with all that, peace is simply not possible.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
“This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin. If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.”
(1John 1:5-10) -NLT
Refusing to forgive is like drinking poison and hoping someone else will die. Forgiveness is unlocking a door and expecting to allow someone in only to discover that you are letting yourself out. Forgiveness is freedom; forgiveness produces life; forgiveness provides peace.
Out of all your past sins, which ones has GOD forgiven? The answer: all your sins have been forgiven. Jesus paid the price for you when He allowed Himself to be crucified on your behalf. Christians are the most forgiven people in the world; therefore, Christians should be the most forgiving people in the world. As Christians, we should forgive others’ transgressions more readily than the world would avenge them.
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
(Colossians 3:13) -NLT
“Forgive us for our sins, just as we have forgiven those who sinned against us.”
(Matthew 6:12) -NCV
What would happen if GOD forgave you in exactly the same way you are forgiving others at this time?
Forgiveness is undeserved and cannot be earned. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is an act of the will. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiving is an active process; it involves a conscious choice and a deliberate course of action. Forgiveness is not excusing the sin, accepting sin, or condoning sin in any way. Forgiveness says, “We both know that what you did was wrong and without excuse; however, I’m choosing to forgive you as GOD forgave me.”
Forgiveness may be described as a decision to make four promises:
- I will not dwell on this incident.
- I will not bring up in this incident again and use it against you.
- I will not talk to others about this incident.
- I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship from growing healthier.
When forgiving someone, do not merely say, “I forgive you.” Go on to describe the four promises that are packed into those three special words.
Remember: Forgiveness does not automatically release a wrongdoer from all the consequences of sin. Even Newton’s Third Law declares that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Choices create consequences. The ramifications of sin sometimes goes beyond the targeted person and affects others around the targeted person. If the sin is severe enough, it may cause a reaction from those who enforce the law. An example of this was seen in 2015 when the relatives of the Charleston Church shooting victims told the shooter, Dylann Roof, that they had forgiven him. Though the relatives had forgiven Dylann, it didn’t release him of the consequence of his sin. However, like the those family members of the shooting victims, you must do your part. In fact, Jesus commanded us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48; Luke 6:27-36). To forgive someone means to release him/her from liability to suffer punishment or penalty within your own heart. To forgive someone, we choose to absorb as much cost as possible. Forgiveness provides opportunity for growth and refuses to allow evil to win.
To forgive, we must renounce sinful attitudes and unrealistic expectations. Either consciously or unconsciously, many of us withhold forgiveness because we believe the offender must earn or deserve our forgiveness or because we want to punish the offender or make him/her suffer. We may also withhold forgiveness because we want a guarantee that such an offense will never occur again. These attitudes and expectations are utterly inconsistent with the command to forgive as GOD forgave us. Just as GOD demands no guarantee from us regarding our future conduct, we have no right to make such a demand of others. We have no right to let our fears of the future delay the forgiveness of today.
Consider the fact that the apostle Paul had once been addressed by the name of Saul and he lived his life persecuting Christians (Acts 8:1-3). In fact, he had been present while Stephen had been stoned to death and he approved of the execution (Acts 7:58; 8:1). But even Paul was forgiven and provided a new life through Christ Jesus (Acts 9:1-22). And Paul acknowledged the fact that he might have been the least deserving (1Corinthians 15:8-10). Is there someone you believe doesn’t deserve forgiveness? The truth is that none of us deserved to be forgiven; however, Jesus was so loving that He forgave us and died for us even while we were still sinners (Romans 5:8).
Assess your own contributions to the problem. Again, do your part. In some situations, your sins may have contributed to a conflict. Even if you did not start the dispute, your lack of understanding, careless words, impatience, or failure to respond in a loving manner may have aggravated the situation. We often take GOD’s forgiveness for granted while we stubbornly withhold our forgiveness from others. If you’re struggling with unforgiveness, take another look at the enormous debt for which GOD has forgiven you. Or do you not realize that your sins killed Christ?
Now, we are commanded to forgive, but how is one able to forgive? Put forgiveness into practice. Forgiveness requires reconciliation and replacement. Forgiveness is an event that knocks down a wall that stands between you and a person who has wronged you. Forgiveness is a process. After you demolish an obstruction, you usually have to clear away debris and do repair work. It takes time and requires effort. Reconciliation requires that you give a repentant person an opportunity to demonstrate repentance and regain your trust. Setbacks and disappointments are likely to occur, but mistakes are acceptable so long as continuous effort is put forth to rebuild. But keep in mind that if you are coasting, you’re probably going downhill. In other words, unless a deliberate effort is made to restore and strengthen a relationship, it will generally deteriorate.
We should pursue reconciliation on three different levels: our thoughts, our words, and our deeds. We need to replace negative thoughts and memories with positive ones. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, pray about the positives. Pray the positives for the person you need to forgive. And when you pray the positives, speak them out loud so you say it with your lips and hear the positive words come out.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.”
(Philippians 4:8-9) -NLT
And when talking to others about the person who offended you, make it a point to speak well of the person. As you verbally reaffirm your relationship and sincerely build up the other person, both of you should experience improved attitudes and feelings. And finally, put your actions where your words are. Loving actions can do much more than change your feelings; they can also communicate in unmistakable terms the reality of your forgiveness and your commitment to reconciliation. Be quick to demonstrate forgiveness with concrete actions.
“And Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ ”
(Luke 23:34) -ESV
Jesus prayed forgiveness for the very people who were murdering Him and ridiculing Him. Why? Because that’s love. Jesus said that those people didn’t know what they were doing. How is that possible? Obviously, they knew that they were crucifying Jesus. However, they believed they were accomplishing justice when they were actually acting out of sin and doing wrong. Is there anyone in your life who has ‘crucified’ you that you should be forgiving? What has GOD forgiven you for in the past? How serious are your opponent’s sins against you when compared with your sins against GOD? Read Matthew 18: 21-35 again. How does it apply to you?
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
(1Peter 4:8) -ESV
What does love look like? Love looks like a man wiping away your tears and forgiving you even after you left Him hanging on a cross for your sins.
There are two types of people I want to pray for and exhort to action:
- Do you want to be forgiven? If you are full of guilt, regret, sorrow, or shame and want to be forgiven, I want to pray for you, pray with you, and commit myself to encourage you from now on. I also want to challenge you: If you desire forgiveness from someone, I urge you to meet with that individual in person (or via phone if over a great distance), confess your feelings and desire to be forgiven, and then ask the person to forgive you. And remember: your ultimate forgiveness isn’t based upon the person’s choice to forgive you — Christ has already forgiven the repentant person. Your duty is complete upon asking for forgiveness. The Holy Spirit will do the work of change in the other person.
- Do you need to forgive someone? If you have a frog in your jar and you need the strength to open the lid and the courage to grab the frog and remove it from your jar, I want to pray for you, pray with you, and commit myself to walk this journey with you. I also want to challenge you: if you need to forgive someone, I urge you to meet up with that individual in person (or via phone if over a great distance) and confess the reasons why you desire to forgive that person. To do this, all you need to do is explain what happened and why you got hurt. The conversation is not to pile guilt on the other person, but to explain your pain. It’s as simple as that. And remember: the person you need to forgive does not need to accept your forgiveness for you to be able to release your frog. The person you need to forgive might not believe he/she needs to be forgiven and might reject your forgiveness. That’s not your problem. The Holy Spirit will deal with that person. You need only to release your frog. But keep in mind that forgiveness is only possible through love.
Please pray this prayer with sincerity: “Jesus, thank you for sacrificing Yourself on the cross and forgiving me. Your forgiveness covers all I have ever done and all I will ever do. You died for me; therefore, I will live for you and I will live for all others whom You died for as well. I repent of the evil ways that are not aligned with love and I commit myself to live a life of love from now on. For myself and others, I pray for the powerful miraculous healing of the heart as seen in Ezekiel 36:26-27. I forgive everyone who has ever hurt me and I give all of my bad burdens to You. For I know that if I hold a grudge, it will be I who will face The Judge. Thank you GOD for setting me free! I proclaim to live a life of love and righteousness from now on. Thank you, GOD, for all that You have done, all that You are now doing, and all that You are going to do. In the name of Jesus, by the power of GOD, I cast out any and all frogs of darkness that are currently in my lantern of light! I proclaim freedom from all bondage of past pain and declare a life of love, light, and peace! I will no longer allow negativity, pain, suffering, sadness, confusion, frustration, anxiety, stress, worry, doubt, fear, and hatred to control my thoughts and direct my actions! I will no longer allow the heavy burden of unforgiveness to weigh me down! I am free from the burden of unforgiveness! Amen.”
Quest For Truth 
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