What Is Love?

The following article is Lesson 3 from my book, Superhero University: The Ultimate Superhero Training Manual:

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Superheroes, having the correct understanding of what is good and right, are full of love, and they are compelled to act out from love. This is the only reason we can distinguish the hero from the villain. Spider-Man doesn’t save a falling person from splatting on the ground because he hates the person he saves, right? The superhero saves someone from danger/death because he/she has love for the person he/she is saving. In stark contrast, the villain performs acts of evil, not love. Again, evil is merely a privation of what is good; hatred is a privation or lack of love. It is written in James 2:8 that we are doing right by living a life of love toward others. But what is love? 

Love is not something we can have or hold like materialists would like us to believe. Not everything in life can be boiled down to materialism. Think about it: Can you describe the physical features of love or even the thought about love? How much does love weigh? Of what is the love molecule comprised? There is no infinity stone of love we can possess that can be contained in a gauntlet. In fact, of all the infinity stones Thanos (from the Avengers) had been able to collect that provided him with seemingly unlimited power and ability, it is evident that he lacked love, and that is why he had no qualms about murdering half of the created creatures in the universe—including his own daughter! In fact, Thanos had to sacrifice love in order to be able to obtain one of the infinity stones. Ultimately, Thanos traded love for power because he could not possess both. 

But what is love? And why do humans possess the capability to love? If love is not a material that can be weighed, or measured, how are humans able to possess love? How do we even know that love exists? Does love exist? We know that love exists—not because humans have defined the term—but because the Creator provided the definition of love and humans live by that defined divine design. 

Think about this: Oxygen—the air we breathe—exists whether humanity believes in it or not. In fact, oxygen exists even if humans call it something else. Humanity never created or invented oxygen; we merely discovered it. Likewise, love exists whether humanity believes love exists or not. Love exists even if humans call it something else. In fact, the definition of love is so confused by many humans because they believe it to be something it is not. Many people misuse the word love when they are actually referring to something else that love is not. And this is why it is important that the word love be clearly defined. 

(1 John 4:7–8, NLT)
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

(1 John 4:19, ESV)
“We love because he first loved us.”

Scripture makes sense. If GOD is love, then we would love because GOD first loved us because GOD created us. We are able to love because GOD is love and we are from GOD. If love is GOD, then we must know who GOD is so we can better understand what love is. So who is GOD? We will examine that in detail in Lesson 32, but for now suffice it to say that GOD is love and the absolute moral standard and therefore provides the definition of love (which we will soon examine and define). But we can also better understand love by examining what love is not. 

Love Is Not An Emotion 

Many people in the world claim that love is an emotion, but that simply isn’t true. Love affects our emotions and even causes us to produce emotions within us, but love is not an emotion in and of itself. You may claim that you can feel as if someone loves you, but love is not a feeling. 

Love Is Not Sexual Intercourse 

It is unwise to confuse sex for love and love for sex. Sex needs love to be relevant and meaningful; however, love does not need sex to be relevant and meaningful. A person can have sex with another person simply for the pleasure all while possessing no love for that individual. Examples of this, of course, is prostitution or rape. Such acts of sexual intercourse are meaningless because there is no love in the act of sex. That kind of sex serves a selfish purpose, but has no ultimate meaning. And of course, sex isn’t necessary for love to exist, to be relevant and be meaningful (I will expound upon this later when I define love). Now sex may be found in one of the definitions of love (Eros—I’ll get to this soon), but Eros is within the definition of love; love is ultimately selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. A distorted desire is often misconstrued, mistaken as love. It is unwise to confuse lust for love. 

Even if love is not an emotion, a feeling, or even the act of sexual intercourse, does it matter if love can be clearly defined? If so, why does it matter? Consider what is written: 

(1 Corin. 13:1–3, NLT)
“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

The definition of love matters because GOD is love and GOD created us in His image (Gen. 1:27). For without GOD, love would not matter because life would ultimately be meaningless and purposeless. And if we are to be loving beings, it is important that we understand the definition of love. 

What Is Love? 

(1 Corin. 13:4–8, NLT)
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!”

Love Is an Action 

Though it is not specifically and solely the act of sexual intercourse, love is definitely an action; it is something we do. Read verses 4–7 again and take notice of the fourteen different active descriptions the Holy Spirit (via Paul) uses to define love (patience, kindness, etc.). It’s important to note that this is not Paul’s definition of love, but the definition of love written by Paul while he was inspired by the Holy Spirit. 

Love Is a Choice 

The fourteen active descriptions are actions that we choose to do or not to do. There’s a nonsensical saying that states, “You can’t help who you love.” But yes—you can! We get to decide if we love and who we will love if we decide to love. And this is because we have free will (discussed in Lesson 41). 

Also, there’s a saying that states, “I fell in love.” It sounds so romantic, but this is also nonsense. Love is not a hole or trapdoor we can fall in. You don’t fall in love any more than you fall out of love. Love is a choice. You choose to love. You choose not to love. People do not fall in love; people decide to love. People do, however, fall into the trapdoor of lust. When people talk about love at first sight, what they really mean is lust at first sight. Now is it possible to possess love for someone at first sight? General love? Yes. Complete love? No. Love in the sense that you want the best for someone? Yes. Love in the sense that you desire the best for someone despite all his/her flaws and mistakes? No. It’s not possible to love someone so deeply at first sight because you wouldn’t know the flaws and mistakes associated with the person. And how is it possible to truly love someone unless you love despite the flaws and mistakes? 

Love, in a nutshell, is the good you will show toward someone and/or others. It’s treating someone else with the qualities described in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7. Take the Supreme Superhero (Jesus) as an example (after all, the Savior is the definition of love and the ultimate example of love): 

(John 15:12–13, NLT)
“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

However, the Supreme Superhero goes even further by commanding us to love our enemies (Matt. 5:43–48). And then the Savior did exactly that—Jesus went out and laid down His life for us by dying on the cross as our atoning sacrifice while being mocked, spat on, beaten, lacerated, and murdered by those who hated Him for no good reason. Love is caring more for others than for self because love is selfless. Love is sacrificial. Love is unconditional. 

Love Defined 

Unlike the English language, which uses the one word of love ambiguously, the ancient Greek language used different words to define the one word of love so that people wouldn’t be confused as to which definition of love should be inferred. Examine the four following words and their associated definitions: 

• Storge/stergo—This is a familial love such as the love of a parent toward offspring and vice versa. Devotion can be a key word associated with this type of love.

• Phileo—This love is companionable and relational. It means brotherly/sisterly love or friendship. It carries the idea of two or more people who feel compatible with each other.

• Eros—This is the word for sexual or romantic love. In fact, this is where we get the word erotic. This word implies a sexual demand. And because it is unwise to confuse lust for love, it is imperative that we not confuse lust for Eros. The passion and intimacy of Eros is to be confined within the covenant bond between husband and wife, as was designed by the Designer. Lust is only about the pelvic thrust, to seek pleasure and fulfill a selfish desire. Lust is committed only to fulfilling a distorted desire whereas love (eros) is committed to fulfilling the needs of the partner within the covenant union. Therefore, be wise: pursue love and reject thoughts produced from the lustful lair of the Liar—they are lies created in the cave of the contemptible con artist and Counterfeiter, the Salesman that is Satan. Don’t buy the lies. Even a lustful look is adultery in the heart (Matt. 5:28). Money can’t buy you love. And no—that’s actually not from the Beatles—it’s from the Song of Solomon 8:7.

• Agape—This is the highest and deepest level of love. This is the ultimate love and is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. This is the love of GOD. This is the type of love all superheroes should possess. 

(1 Pet. 4:8, NLT)
“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.”

Love covers a multitude of sins? Is that true? Yes! In fact, that is exactly what Jesus did for us:

(Rom. 5:6–8, NLT)
“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

For love, compassion is the key and empathy is everything: 

(Luke 23:34, NLT)
“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Jesus is able to see us as His precious people, not a pervasive problem such as a plague. The Savior sees us as eternal beings, not mortal enemies. The Supreme Superhero sees us as family who belong in His heavenly home, not failures to be flung in the fiery furnace. Hell is where evil belongs and will ultimately be quarantined, but GOD doesn’t desire for us to go to that awful place. In fact, the Lord desires for everyone to be saved and doesn’t take any delight in the destruction of the wicked (Ezek. 18:21–23; 33:11; 1 Tim. 2:4; 2 Pet. 3:9). 

Jesus is our awesome, ardent advocate who absorbed for us the penalty of sin. Apostle Paul assists us by providing an important reminder that helps us put people into proper perspective: 

(Eph. 6:12, NLT)
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

It is of the utmost importance that all superheroes remember this: we are to hate evil/sin, but we are to love people. 

Conclusion 

1. Love never fails. 

(Song of Sol. 8:7, NLT)
“Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.”

2. Love perfects us. 

(1 John 4:12–18, NLT)
“No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”

3. Love is supreme. 

(1 Corin. 13:13, NLT)
“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”

Reflection 

If you want to be a superhero, you must possess love and choose to love others. A superhero can only be a superhero if the hero first and foremost possesses love for others. Do you possess love for others? If not, you resemble a villain. But wait—is that a fair statement? Consider the words of the Supreme Superhero:

(Matt. 12:30, ESV)
“Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.”

The late and great Martin Luther King Jr. once posed a powerful question to the clergymen of Alabama in his renowned letter, “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” He asked, “So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love?” 

And that’s not a fallacy of false dilemma—if we’re not loving others, then…we’re not loving people. Therefore, I implore everyone to examine the motives and intentions of each and every choice/decision you make. Are you able to recognize good from bad? Right from wrong? Are you living a life of love or hate? For if you’re not living a life of love, what are you doing and what is your life? I choose to live an extreme life of love (not lust), and I urge you to do the same. Don’t scatter. Be a gatherer. Ironically, the best way to be a gatherer of people is to scatter seeds of love. How many seeds of love can you sow today? 

So ask yourself, do you love others? From where did you get this desire to love? Do you feel compelled to act out from love? If so, why do you think that is? All superheroes possess love for people. If you love people, then you possess one of the qualities of a superhero and you just might be one someday! 

Picture Scripture: “Midnight Oil” (Matthew 25:1-13)

(Matthew 25:1-13)
“1 Then the kingdom of heaven will be comparable to ten virgins, who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were prudent. 3 For when the foolish took their lamps, they took no oil with them, 4 but the prudent took oil in flasks along with their lamps. 5 Now while the bridegroom was delaying, they all got drowsy and began to sleep. 6 But at midnight there was a shout, ‘Behold, the bridegroom! Come out to meet him.’ 7 Then all those virgins rose and trimmed their lamps. 8 The foolish said to the prudent, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’ 9 But the prudent answered, ‘No, there will not be enough for us and you too; go instead to the dealers and buy some for yourselves.’ 10 And while they were going away to make the purchase, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding feast; and the door was shut. 11 Later the other virgins also came, saying, ‘Lord, lord, open up for us.’ 12 But he answered, ‘Truly I say to you, I do not know you.’ 13 Be on the alert then, for you do not know the day nor the hour.”

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Picture this: A powerful storm causes all electricity in the city to go out in the middle of the night. A woman stumbles in the darkness while trying to find a flashlight. This woman eventually manages to find a flashlight; however, she discovers that it won’t work because there aren’t any batteries inside. Without any light, she continues to stumble in the darkness.

Picture this: Two women exiting an office building, both pulling luggage behind them, walk side-by-side toward the street. One of the women is talking on her phone. While talking on her phone, she says to the person on the receiving end, “I’m excited to see everyone at the wedding! I’ll see you soon enough!”
While the woman on the phone is ending her conversation, the other woman signals for a taxi. A taxi pulls up alongside both women and they get inside. Putting on their seat belts, one of the women instructs the taxi driver to take them to the airport. At the airport, the first woman checks in at the counter and receives her boarding ticket. The second woman then attempts to retrieve her plane ticket but discovers she doesn’t have her identification with her. In a panic, she turns toward the first woman and asks her, “I don’t have my ID! Please! Can I use yours?!”
The first woman responds, “No, you can’t use my ID. That’s not something we can share. You’re going to have to go get your own ID.”

The second woman, filled with fear, runs out of the airport. Meanwhile, the first woman goes to the boarding gate and waits for the plane to arrive. Soon enough, the plane arrives and the first woman boards the plane. The second woman does not make it back in time for the flight and the plane leaves without her. 

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If the Kingdom of Heaven is comparable to 10 virgins who go out to meet the Bridegroom, it is evident this parable is about a wedding. On the wedding day the bridegroom went to the bride’s house for the ceremony; then the bride and groom, along with a great procession, returned to the groom’s house, where a feast took place, often lasting a full week. But if this parable is meant to be a comparison to the Kingdom of Heaven, we need to know who the characters represent, what the highlighted items represent and why certain actions were either good or bad. 

Jesus is the Bridegroom. In Matthew 9:14-15, it is written that the disciples of John the baptist asked Jesus why they and the Pharisees were faithful to fast yet His disciples did not fast. Jesus responded by telling them that His disciples have the Bridegroom with them and so they are celebrating, but that when the Bridegroom leaves, they will fast. Jesus claimed to be the Bridegroom. And if those people had not still been disciples of John the baptist, they would have known that. In fact, John the baptist told everyone that Jesus was the way, not himself (John 1:26-34). The disciples of John the baptist were supposed to have left John to follow Jesus, just as Andrew had done (John 1:35-40). John the baptist even called Jesus the Bridegroom (John 3:28-30). But we also know that Jesus is the Bridegroom because Paul taught that the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church (Ephesians 5:23). Paul concludes by saying that the mystery of marriage of two becoming one is a reference to Christ and the church (Ephesians 5:30-32). Thus, Jesus is the Bridegroom and the church is the bride. And just as there was a betrothal period in biblical times during which the bride and groom were separated until the wedding, so is the bride of Christ (church) separated from her Bridegroom (Jesus) during the church age. But when Jesus returns, He will get His bride at her place (this earth) and take her to His home (John 14:2-3; Revelation 19:7–9; 21-22).

Now, if Jesus is the Bridegroom and the church is the bride, who are the 10 virgins in this story? In general, at least among the Jews, ten constitutes a society or company. Talmudic authorities affirm that the lamps used in bridal processions were usually 10. Because the bride is not present in this story, these 10 virgins represent the bride; that is, these 10 virgins represent the church at large (2Corinthians 11:2; Lamentations 1:15; 2:13). The word “virgins” is the English translation of the Greek word parthenos (par-then’-os), which means a maiden, or unmarried daughter, and thus a virgin [because an unmarried daughter is a virgin]. The fact that they are virgins represents the importance of purity and holiness of GOD’s people (Proverbs 15:9; 25:4; Ecclesiastes 10:1; Leviticus 20:7-8; Ezekiel 44:23; Matthew 5:8,48; 2 Timothy 2:21). Both the bride and the church wait in faithful commitment until going to the groom. 

All 10 virgins had lamps; not one was without a lamp. Although the Bible never describes the lamps used by ancient Israel or the early church, archaeology informs us what they were like. Early lamps were small pottery bowls with a slight lip for a wick. Some had multiple wick holders to produce more light (Zechariah 4:2). Over time, the lip became a spout to one side. By the Persian period, lamps with a covered oil reservoir were imported from Greece. Some lamps, like the seven-branched golden menorah of the tabernacle, were made of metal. During the Roman era, pottery and metal lanterns were developed for outside illumination, replacing torches, which had been used previously (Judges 7:16). Those who sought Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane carried both torches and lanterns (John 18:3). Lamps were commonly found in family dwellings (2Kings 4:10; Matthew 5:15). They also played an important role in the tabernacle and temple (Exodus 25:31-39; 1Kings 7:49), where they not only illuminated their interiors but also, having the shape of a tree, symbolically evoked memories of Eden. Lamps could be carried or placed on a shelf or stand.

The Bible frequently uses a lamp or light metaphorically. It can symbolize life (Job 18:6; 21:17; Proverbs 13:9; 20:20; 24:20) or the continuation of the Davidic line (2Samuel 21:17; 1Kings 11:36; 15:4; 2Kings 8:19). Jesus is the Light of the world, who gives spiritual life (John 1:9; 3:19; 8:12; 9:5; 12:46). John the baptist was a lamp illuminating the way to the Messiah (John 5:35). GOD’s Word is a lamp to guide one’s way (Psalm 119:105; Proverbs 6:23). GOD Himself is the Light who enables people to live in difficult times (2Samuel 22:29; Job 29:3). And finally, Jesus’s followers should shine as lights in the darkness of this world so that the world can see their good works and praise GOD (Matthew 5:14-16). However, since the lamps could hold only enough oil to burn for a few hours, a woman who ensured that her lamp “does not go out at night” would have been particularly diligent (Proverbs 31:18). And in this parable of the 10 virgins, it is written that five were foolish for having no oil and five were prudent for having extra oil.

All 10 virgins had lamps, but only five had oil for their lamps. Almost all the oil to which the Bible refers is olive oil. This oil was used for lighting lamps, but it was also used for anointing oil (Exodus 29:7; 30:23-25; 1Samuel 16:13). Because of its centrality to much of Jewish life, olive oil was sometimes used as a symbol of richness, joy, and health (Jeremiah 31:12; Hebrews 1:9). Times of judgment were described as a season when the “oil fails” (Joel 1:10). 

The oil can also be seen as a symbol for the Holy Spirit (Zechariah 4:1-7). Now, the virgin with the lamp represents the outward appearance of being a Christian; however, the oil is what truly makes someone a Christian (Romans 8:9). Without the Holy Spirit within a person, there can be no fire, nor will there be light or anointing. Anyone can hold a Bible and profess to have the Light, but only those who know GOD’s Word and live out GOD’s Word with the Holy Spirit within them will truly be able to shine. True faith is the oil that never runs out, leading to a light that never extinguishes. Like in the widow’s story in 2Kings 4:1-7, the miracle came from faith. The widow had nothing except a jar of oil; the widow had nothing except faith in GOD. She was saved by living her life according to her faith in GOD. Was she a doer of the Word? Yes. But what she did, she did through faith. The oil is GOD’s grace and we are saved by grace alone through our faith in Christ Jesus (Acts 15:11; Romans 3:28; 1Corinthians 1:29; Ephesians 2:8-9; 2Timothy 1:9; 1Peter 1:5).

Verse 5 tells us that the Bridegroom was delaying. Is Jesus delaying His arrival? Yes. Why? Not only is the delay a test of our faithfulness to Him, but it is written in 2Peter 3:8-9 that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years is like one day. The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward us, not wanting any of us to perish but for all to come to repentance. For those who do not yet confess Jesus as Lord and Savior, the delay of His arrival gives them time to get oil for their lamps. But for those who claim to be Christians, the delay will show whether they are truly faithful or not. Will they truly wait for the Lord or, like king Saul, will they commit adultery and seek after another to get the pleasure they desire (1Samuel 28)? Is their faith true? Will they endure until the end or do they have shallow roots (Matthew 13:3-8, 18-23; 24:13)?

Verse 5 also tells us that all 10 of the virgins fell asleep in the delay. However, the parable reveals that it wasn’t the sleep that prevented the five foolish virgins from gaining access into the wedding feast — it was their lack of oil. Therefore, we do not need to lose sleep worrying about when Jesus will arrive; rather, we can go to sleep in peace knowing we are ready. In fact, sleep is often synonymous in the Bible for dying (Psalm 13:3; Daniel 12:2; Acts 7:60; John 11:10-14; 1Thessalonians 4:13-15). For this reason, we can even “sleep” (die) in confidence knowing that when we are awakened (resurrected), we will have the oil necessary to shine. Whatever you possess prior to the sleep is what you will have when you are awakened by the coming of the Bridegroom. The five wise virgins who were granted entry into the wedding feast had also fallen asleep, but they were ready to respond at any moment because they had oil for their lamps. This is the great reversal of when Jesus found His disciples sleeping in the garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-46). At Gethsemane, His disciples were awakened only to scatter and leave Him. But by GOD’s grace, the next time we are awakened, it will be to be gathered and to go with Him. 

Verse 6 tells us there was a shout that awakened the virgins. Who is the messenger who shouts? It is the angels with a blast of a great trumpet (Matthew 24:31; 1Corinthians 15:52). And in verse 7, the phrase, “rise and shine” takes on a whole new meaning because those who rise will be those who shine. Those who do not shine will not rise and go with Christ; consequently, they will be lost in darkness (Matthew 8:12; 22:13; 25:30). 

In verses 8-9, those who were foolish tried to use the oil of the wise. However, you cannot be saved by someone else’s faith. It’s not that the wise virgins didn’t want to help, but they truly couldn’t give the foolish the faith they needed for the journey. The wise told the foolish to go buy some oil for themselves. This, of course, is a suggestion that only reveals the truth: you cannot buy GOD’s grace or the Holy Spirit within which comes from faith in Christ Jesus. In Acts 8:17-21, Simon the magician tried to buy the gift of the Holy Spirit and Peter said to him, “May your silver perish with you, because you thought you could obtain the gift of God with money! You have no part or portion in this matter, for your heart is not right before God.”

Verses 10-13 tell us that those who were ready were granted entry into the wedding feast. Those who had not been ready missed the open door of opportunity and were denied entry. Even though they called out, “Lord, Lord,” Jesus told them He didn’t know them. Jesus taught this same message in different ways, letting us know that not everyone who claims the Lord is truly of the Lord (Matthew 7:15-23; Luke 13:23-30). But Jesus has said that all whom the Father gives Him will go to Him, and the one who goes to Him will certainly not be cast out (John 6:37). So, why did Jesus deny entry to the five foolish virgins? Sadly, the truth is that some people are not children of GOD even if they claim to be (John 1:12; 8:39-47; Romans 8:16; 1John 3:7-10). Jesus told us that if you love Him, you will keep His commandments (John 14:15). If you keep His commandments, you will abide in His love; just as the Son kept the Father’s commandments and remained in His love (John 15:10). The Bible is GOD’s Word and if you know and believe GOD’s Word, then you will know the importance of having oil for your lamp. Do you not know? If you didn’t, you do now. Do you believe Christ Jesus was born of the Holy Spirit from a virgin, lived a sinless life, willingly sacrificed Himself on the cross, rose again on the third day, and ascended to Heaven? Do you not only believe that the Lord is real, but also trust in the Lord? Do you have faith? Are you ready? Do you have oil for your lamp? Will you rise and shine or will you stumble and fall in darkness, only to weep and gnash your teeth? In the end, each person is accountable for his/her own choices (Deuteronomy 24:16; Ezekiel 18:20; Jeremiah 31:29-30). You cannot be saved by someone else’s faith. If you don’t have oil for your lamp, you have only yourself to blame for not having light and only dwelling in darkness. 

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The Artist J:

Matthew 25:1-13 is a very important parable that Jesus spoke about a bride that needs to be prepared while waiting for her groom, which is Jesus Himself. The only thing is that “waiting for the groom” is a concept which is a little lost on us in today’s culture. It was a part of how ancient Jewish weddings were conducted. 

The ancient wedding structure is talked about in scripture more than people even realize, so knowing how ancient weddings took place is important in being able to better understand what Jesus meant by the things he said and scripture as a whole. The Bible is at its very core a book about a Father preparing a bride for His son. So it would be a good idea to know what that looks like, and how that would take place. You’ll see how much of this should sound familiar to you if you know scripture. 

So the first step to an ancient wedding would be a bride being chosen for a son. This was done by the son with his father but the woman must be approved by the father. He would have the authority over who his son would marry.

(John 15:16-“You did not choose me, but I chose you”, Ephesians 1:4-5, John 15:18-19, etc.)

Next the father and son would go to the woman at her father’s house and knock on the door, and if her father answered then he approved of her marriage and they would have a feast together! Does that ring a bell? (Revelations 3:20 “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.”)

Following the feast, a lasting covenant would be made to have the bride set apart only for the son. Then the son would pay a fee to her father to take her for a wife. That should sound very familiar! Jesus paid the debt of sin before the Father to take us as His bride and set us apart for himself as people for his own possession. 

At this point, after the fee was paid they were legally married, yet they would not have intercourse or live together yet. The groom would leave his bride to go prepare a place for her at his father’s house. He would build an addition for her to live with him. (John 14:2-3: In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.)

Before the groom would leave her, he would give her a costly gift as a promise that he was coming back for her. Coming back to take her to their new home with him and complete the wedding. (Ephesians 1 tells us that Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit as a guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it to the praise of his glory. Holy Spirit is a promise of Jesus’s return) 

Even when the groom finished his additions to the house he would have to wait for his father’s approval to return for his bride. So even he didn’t know the day or hour, and the bride would not know, so she was required to wait and watch for his return. (Matthew 24:36: “But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only.”) 

The bride would use that time to learn about her husband and how to become a good wife for her husband and prepare her dress for the wedding feast. (Revelations 19:8: “it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure, for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints.”)

It’s during this period of waiting which we are currently at in time with Jesus and which this parable takes place!

So next, when the father gave the groom approval to return and he left to meet her, someone would go before the groom and sound a shofar and shout “The groom is coming! The groom is coming!” Or something to that effect.

This would usually happen at night while everyone was asleep to surprise the bride, and the bride would have to get up along with her bridesmaids, (the bride could bring up to ten friends with her) and they would go out to meet the groom! That’s why in the parable the virgins ready with oil for their lamps were wise, because they were to have  expected this to occur mostly likely at night for some time now. The foolish failed to prepare for an event that they had been warned would occur. 

When the bride met the groom on the road, He would take her, along with all who were with her, back to his home which he built for her, and then have a giant wedding feast that could last for several days and was said to be the most joyful time of the bride and groom’s lives! 

The door would be locked when the last person with the bride came in, so the feast and joyful celebration could begin. No one else was allowed in. That’s why it’s so important to have that oil. That saving faith on Jesus’s work on the cross that was given to us by the grace of God! Guaranteeing us a place at the wedding feast! Guaranteeing us eternal life with Jesus!