What Is Love?

The following article is Lesson 3 from my book, Superhero University: The Ultimate Superhero Training Manual:

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Superheroes, having the correct understanding of what is good and right, are full of love, and they are compelled to act out from love. This is the only reason we can distinguish the hero from the villain. Spider-Man doesn’t save a falling person from splatting on the ground because he hates the person he saves, right? The superhero saves someone from danger/death because he/she has love for the person he/she is saving. In stark contrast, the villain performs acts of evil, not love. Again, evil is merely a privation of what is good; hatred is a privation or lack of love. It is written in James 2:8 that we are doing right by living a life of love toward others. But what is love? 

Love is not something we can have or hold like materialists would like us to believe. Not everything in life can be boiled down to materialism. Think about it: Can you describe the physical features of love or even the thought about love? How much does love weigh? Of what is the love molecule comprised? There is no infinity stone of love we can possess that can be contained in a gauntlet. In fact, of all the infinity stones Thanos (from the Avengers) had been able to collect that provided him with seemingly unlimited power and ability, it is evident that he lacked love, and that is why he had no qualms about murdering half of the created creatures in the universe—including his own daughter! In fact, Thanos had to sacrifice love in order to be able to obtain one of the infinity stones. Ultimately, Thanos traded love for power because he could not possess both. 

But what is love? And why do humans possess the capability to love? If love is not a material that can be weighed, or measured, how are humans able to possess love? How do we even know that love exists? Does love exist? We know that love exists—not because humans have defined the term—but because the Creator provided the definition of love and humans live by that defined divine design. 

Think about this: Oxygen—the air we breathe—exists whether humanity believes in it or not. In fact, oxygen exists even if humans call it something else. Humanity never created or invented oxygen; we merely discovered it. Likewise, love exists whether humanity believes love exists or not. Love exists even if humans call it something else. In fact, the definition of love is so confused by many humans because they believe it to be something it is not. Many people misuse the word love when they are actually referring to something else that love is not. And this is why it is important that the word love be clearly defined. 

(1 John 4:7–8, NLT)
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

(1 John 4:19, ESV)
“We love because he first loved us.”

Scripture makes sense. If GOD is love, then we would love because GOD first loved us because GOD created us. We are able to love because GOD is love and we are from GOD. If love is GOD, then we must know who GOD is so we can better understand what love is. So who is GOD? We will examine that in detail in Lesson 32, but for now suffice it to say that GOD is love and the absolute moral standard and therefore provides the definition of love (which we will soon examine and define). But we can also better understand love by examining what love is not. 

Love Is Not An Emotion 

Many people in the world claim that love is an emotion, but that simply isn’t true. Love affects our emotions and even causes us to produce emotions within us, but love is not an emotion in and of itself. You may claim that you can feel as if someone loves you, but love is not a feeling. 

Love Is Not Sexual Intercourse 

It is unwise to confuse sex for love and love for sex. Sex needs love to be relevant and meaningful; however, love does not need sex to be relevant and meaningful. A person can have sex with another person simply for the pleasure all while possessing no love for that individual. Examples of this, of course, is prostitution or rape. Such acts of sexual intercourse are meaningless because there is no love in the act of sex. That kind of sex serves a selfish purpose, but has no ultimate meaning. And of course, sex isn’t necessary for love to exist, to be relevant and be meaningful (I will expound upon this later when I define love). Now sex may be found in one of the definitions of love (Eros—I’ll get to this soon), but Eros is within the definition of love; love is ultimately selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. A distorted desire is often misconstrued, mistaken as love. It is unwise to confuse lust for love. 

Even if love is not an emotion, a feeling, or even the act of sexual intercourse, does it matter if love can be clearly defined? If so, why does it matter? Consider what is written: 

(1 Corin. 13:1–3, NLT)
“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

The definition of love matters because GOD is love and GOD created us in His image (Gen. 1:27). For without GOD, love would not matter because life would ultimately be meaningless and purposeless. And if we are to be loving beings, it is important that we understand the definition of love. 

What Is Love? 

(1 Corin. 13:4–8, NLT)
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!”

Love Is an Action 

Though it is not specifically and solely the act of sexual intercourse, love is definitely an action; it is something we do. Read verses 4–7 again and take notice of the fourteen different active descriptions the Holy Spirit (via Paul) uses to define love (patience, kindness, etc.). It’s important to note that this is not Paul’s definition of love, but the definition of love written by Paul while he was inspired by the Holy Spirit. 

Love Is a Choice 

The fourteen active descriptions are actions that we choose to do or not to do. There’s a nonsensical saying that states, “You can’t help who you love.” But yes—you can! We get to decide if we love and who we will love if we decide to love. And this is because we have free will (discussed in Lesson 41). 

Also, there’s a saying that states, “I fell in love.” It sounds so romantic, but this is also nonsense. Love is not a hole or trapdoor we can fall in. You don’t fall in love any more than you fall out of love. Love is a choice. You choose to love. You choose not to love. People do not fall in love; people decide to love. People do, however, fall into the trapdoor of lust. When people talk about love at first sight, what they really mean is lust at first sight. Now is it possible to possess love for someone at first sight? General love? Yes. Complete love? No. Love in the sense that you want the best for someone? Yes. Love in the sense that you desire the best for someone despite all his/her flaws and mistakes? No. It’s not possible to love someone so deeply at first sight because you wouldn’t know the flaws and mistakes associated with the person. And how is it possible to truly love someone unless you love despite the flaws and mistakes? 

Love, in a nutshell, is the good you will show toward someone and/or others. It’s treating someone else with the qualities described in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7. Take the Supreme Superhero (Jesus) as an example (after all, the Savior is the definition of love and the ultimate example of love): 

(John 15:12–13, NLT)
“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

However, the Supreme Superhero goes even further by commanding us to love our enemies (Matt. 5:43–48). And then the Savior did exactly that—Jesus went out and laid down His life for us by dying on the cross as our atoning sacrifice while being mocked, spat on, beaten, lacerated, and murdered by those who hated Him for no good reason. Love is caring more for others than for self because love is selfless. Love is sacrificial. Love is unconditional. 

Love Defined 

Unlike the English language, which uses the one word of love ambiguously, the ancient Greek language used different words to define the one word of love so that people wouldn’t be confused as to which definition of love should be inferred. Examine the four following words and their associated definitions: 

• Storge/stergo—This is a familial love such as the love of a parent toward offspring and vice versa. Devotion can be a key word associated with this type of love.

• Phileo—This love is companionable and relational. It means brotherly/sisterly love or friendship. It carries the idea of two or more people who feel compatible with each other.

• Eros—This is the word for sexual or romantic love. In fact, this is where we get the word erotic. This word implies a sexual demand. And because it is unwise to confuse lust for love, it is imperative that we not confuse lust for Eros. The passion and intimacy of Eros is to be confined within the covenant bond between husband and wife, as was designed by the Designer. Lust is only about the pelvic thrust, to seek pleasure and fulfill a selfish desire. Lust is committed only to fulfilling a distorted desire whereas love (eros) is committed to fulfilling the needs of the partner within the covenant union. Therefore, be wise: pursue love and reject thoughts produced from the lustful lair of the Liar—they are lies created in the cave of the contemptible con artist and Counterfeiter, the Salesman that is Satan. Don’t buy the lies. Even a lustful look is adultery in the heart (Matt. 5:28). Money can’t buy you love. And no—that’s actually not from the Beatles—it’s from the Song of Solomon 8:7.

• Agape—This is the highest and deepest level of love. This is the ultimate love and is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. This is the love of GOD. This is the type of love all superheroes should possess. 

(1 Pet. 4:8, NLT)
“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.”

Love covers a multitude of sins? Is that true? Yes! In fact, that is exactly what Jesus did for us:

(Rom. 5:6–8, NLT)
“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

For love, compassion is the key and empathy is everything: 

(Luke 23:34, NLT)
“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Jesus is able to see us as His precious people, not a pervasive problem such as a plague. The Savior sees us as eternal beings, not mortal enemies. The Supreme Superhero sees us as family who belong in His heavenly home, not failures to be flung in the fiery furnace. Hell is where evil belongs and will ultimately be quarantined, but GOD doesn’t desire for us to go to that awful place. In fact, the Lord desires for everyone to be saved and doesn’t take any delight in the destruction of the wicked (Ezek. 18:21–23; 33:11; 1 Tim. 2:4; 2 Pet. 3:9). 

Jesus is our awesome, ardent advocate who absorbed for us the penalty of sin. Apostle Paul assists us by providing an important reminder that helps us put people into proper perspective: 

(Eph. 6:12, NLT)
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

It is of the utmost importance that all superheroes remember this: we are to hate evil/sin, but we are to love people. 

Conclusion 

1. Love never fails. 

(Song of Sol. 8:7, NLT)
“Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.”

2. Love perfects us. 

(1 John 4:12–18, NLT)
“No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”

3. Love is supreme. 

(1 Corin. 13:13, NLT)
“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”

Reflection 

If you want to be a superhero, you must possess love and choose to love others. A superhero can only be a superhero if the hero first and foremost possesses love for others. Do you possess love for others? If not, you resemble a villain. But wait—is that a fair statement? Consider the words of the Supreme Superhero:

(Matt. 12:30, ESV)
“Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.”

The late and great Martin Luther King Jr. once posed a powerful question to the clergymen of Alabama in his renowned letter, “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” He asked, “So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love?” 

And that’s not a fallacy of false dilemma—if we’re not loving others, then…we’re not loving people. Therefore, I implore everyone to examine the motives and intentions of each and every choice/decision you make. Are you able to recognize good from bad? Right from wrong? Are you living a life of love or hate? For if you’re not living a life of love, what are you doing and what is your life? I choose to live an extreme life of love (not lust), and I urge you to do the same. Don’t scatter. Be a gatherer. Ironically, the best way to be a gatherer of people is to scatter seeds of love. How many seeds of love can you sow today? 

So ask yourself, do you love others? From where did you get this desire to love? Do you feel compelled to act out from love? If so, why do you think that is? All superheroes possess love for people. If you love people, then you possess one of the qualities of a superhero and you just might be one someday! 

Identity Crisis

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If you would rather read this message, I have provided the words below:

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INTRODUCTION: 

What do you do when you first meet someone? Let’s examine some examples from both teenage and adult perspectives:

(1)  Teen Friendship only:  

• Get his/her name?
• Ask what he/she likes to do?
• Find out where he/she typically hangs out?
• Do you know any of the same people?
• Find out what you have in common.
• Discern who the person is and if you want that person to be in your life. 

(2)  Teen Romantic interest:  

• Robot mode: Judge by appearance. Scan the subject.
• Facial recognition: Approved. Does not need a bag over the head.
• Body: mid-section: Approved.
• Body: lower-section: there’s some junk in the trunk but that’s okay because I like big butts and I cannot lie—
• We don’t even think about who they are! They could be the most attractive serial killer you’ve ever met.

(3)  Adult friendship only:  (we are worse than teens)

• What’s your name? (I don’t really care and I probably won’t remember it)
• What do you do for a living? (Do I have a better career than you? Do I make more money than you? Am I better than you?)

(4)  Adult romantic interest: 

• Adults basically do the same thing as teens.

(5)  Is it any wonder why so many friendships last a long time — even a lifetime? Is it any wonder why so many romantic relationships end in heartache, pain, and divorce? 

• When seeking friendships, we typically seek to find who the person is – we seek to discover that person’s identity.
• When seeking romantic relationships, we typically seek to find what is physically attractive to look at and then try to force that person to become the best friend we’re hoping to find.

SCRIPTURE READING:

“When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, ‘Who do people say that the Son of Man is?’ ‘Well,’ they replied, ‘some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say Jeremiah or one of the other prophets.’ Then he asked them, ‘But who do you say I am?’ Simon Peter answered, ‘You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.’ Jesus replied, ‘You are blessed, Simon son of John, because my Father in heaven has revealed this to you. You did not learn this from any human being.’ ”
(Matthew 16:13-17) -NLT

GAMESHOW:  GUESS WHO

How To Play:

Get out a piece of paper and a writing utensil. Write numbers 1-7, going down. I am going to describe to you seven different people, one at a time. As I am describing each person to you, I want you to try to imagine what each person looks like. First, imagine whether the person is male or female. Write it down — male or female. After you assume the gender of the person, I want you to imagine the age, height, and even the weight of the person. I want you to also imagine if the person has a lot of facial hair or if the person is clean shaven. Imagine the person’s skin tone, hair color and even the eye color. Does the person have freckles? Wrinkles? Does the person have scars? What clothing would the person be wearing? Be as specific as possible in your guess as to who this person is. If you know who the person is, simply write the name of the person. 

IDENTITY #1

Description:  

This person had a sister and a brother who both died at an early age. Not too much longer after the death of both siblings, this person’s mother also died. This person eventually became a part-owner of a store, but the business failed. This person studied law. This person eventually fell in love; however, this person’s love interest also eventually died. With only two saddlebags to hold all of this person’s possessions, this person moved to a new city to live in at the age of 28. This person eventually got into politics. This person ran for president year after year and got rejected year after year; however, this person finally got elected as the president of the United States at the age of 52.

Identity Revealed:

It was only after years of rejection and ‘failure’ that this man succeeded. That man was Abraham Lincoln.

IDENTITY #2

Description:

This person was born in 1929. This person lived in a confined space with many other people and felt as if the atmosphere was suffocating at times. At the age of only 15, this person got arrested. At the young age of 16, this person died from typhoid fever; in addition, all family members with the exception of the father ended up dying. But the father found this person’s diary and this diary became famous.

Identity Revealed:  

The young girl named Anne Frank eventually went on to inspire millions of people despite the fact that she wasn’t even alive here on Earth. Her father — the only remaining family member — found Anne’s diary, was amazed by her maturity and character and then he got it published into a book. Anne provided wonderful insight into a dark moment of history inundated with Nazis and also showed the world that maturity can be found in youth and a hero can look like a female. 

{She was 16! You are not too young to make a difference!}

IDENTITY #3

Description:  

This person was born in Australia. As a child, this person struggled mentally, emotionally, and even physically. At one point, this person considered suicide. At the age of 21, this person graduated with a Bachelor of Commerce and with a double major in accountancy and financial planning. This person is now a Christian evangelist and motivational speaker.

Identity Revealed:  

This person is Nick Vujicic; he was born with tetra-amelia syndrome, a rare disorder characterized by the absence of all four limbs. Nick has encouraged, motivated and inspired millions of people simply because he overcame and never quit. Though he lives a life without limbs, his heart propels him in the direction he needs to go.

IDENTITY #4

Description:  

This person was one of eight siblings and was also the runt of the litter. Being the smallest, this person was sent to watch over sheep rather than being in war or hunting. On one occasion, a special visitor came to the father and desired to choose one of the siblings for a special task and rare position. But on this occasion, this person was excluded from the other siblings and wasn’t even presented as a choice to the special visitor. Neither the father nor the siblings thought very much of this person.

Identity Revealed:  

This person is the great David of the Bible. Even Samuel — a prophet — admitted he wanted to choose David’s brother over David. But GOD’s response in 1Samuel 16:6-7 tells us that GOD does not look at appearance, but looks at the heart.

IDENTITY #5

Description:  

This person dressed with clothing that proclaims importance and that is because this person possesses an important title or position. This person was one of the few who comprised the ruling class in the area. This person was a successful person by human standards. However, this person eventually caused an innocent and much loved man to receive a death sentence and was later despised because of it. 

Identity Revealed:  

This person is one of the many Pharisees whom Jesus opposed and often rebuked. These are the people who seemed like they had it all together and were doing everything right! Though the Pharisees had the appearance of importance and right character, they lacked heart. Examine the words of Jesus regarding the Pharisees:

“Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, ‘The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat, so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. They do all their deeds to be seen by others…. Woe to you, blind guides…. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful, but within are full of dead people’s bones and all uncleanness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness…. You serpents, you brood of vipers, how are you to escape being sentenced to hell?”
(Matthew 23:1-5, 16, 27-28, 33) -ESV 

IDENTITY #6

Description:  

This person grew up agnostic and eventually became a performer in Hollywood for the entertainment industry and had been in dozens of television shows. This person became a nihilistic atheist whose only concern was experiencing fun. Sadly, this person’s nihilism brought this person to write out a suicide letter, considering everything in life to be worthless and meaningless — even life itself. After failing to commit suicide, this person eventually left the entertainment industry and ended up receiving unemployment checks until working such jobs as a janitor for an elementary school and as a groundskeeper for an apartment community. By the world’s standards, this person became a failure and an insignificant and invisible nobody.

Identity Revealed:  

This person is me (Trenton Gill). Jesus saved me from myself. To see my entire testimony, please see my other article, “My Testimony: from Agnosticism, to Atheism, to Christianity“.

IDENTITY #7

Description:  

As a baby, this person was born in a dirty place where animals typically go to eat. There never seemed to be anything remarkable about this person; in fact, this person worked an ordinary job as a typical carpenter. When this person was around 30 years of age, this person went above and beyond to love people. And yet despite of this person’s great love, this person was condemned to a death sentence on false accusations and died a horrible death. People mocked this person as this person died.

Identity Revealed:  

This person is Christ Jesus. Jesus — fully GOD — became fully human in order to save us from ourselves. By His great sacrificial love, our bloodstained sinful selves have been whitewashed and cleansed and we will be able to live in His presence for all eternity.

SUMMARY

When I described each person, did the physical appearance ever make a difference as to who they ended up becoming? Did physical appearance have anything to do with the person’s identity? 

(1)  Think:  

• Did age or gender make a difference?
• Did all of their ‘current’ jobs, tasks, labels or titles ever define who they would end up becoming?
• Did their history determine their future?

(2)  The heart is the start and most important part:  

• From examples in this game and everyone we read about in the Bible, what matters most is the heart. 

CONCLUSION: GAME’S OVER; NOW WHAT? REAL LIFE STARTS.

(1)  Examine yourself:  

• If I were to write a description about you and share it with someone else, would that person picture you?
• Is the current description of you the person you want to be in the future?
• What do you care about most in life?
• What are your short-term and long-term goals?
• What are your dreams?
• Who do you want to become?
• You need to know your identity. Otherwise, people will tell you who you are and you just might believe them. 

(2)  Examine others:  

• Are you judging someone by their appearance instead of looking at their heart?
• Do you even know enough about someone to write a description about that person’s heart?
• If you don’t know a person well enough to write a description about that person’s heart, then you don’t truly know who they are.

REAL LIFE APPLICATION

Pastor Steve Fender from Livingway Church of San Antonio, Texas once shared with me one of the most amazing testimonies I’ve ever heard. After an alter call at one of Steve’s services, a man by the name of Ernest had asked Steve to talk to him and pray with him. Eventually, Ernest confessed to being a Mexican mafia hitman and that he had killed a lot of people. Ernest asked if GOD would still accept him because of all the murders he had committed and pastor Steve told Ernest that no one is too far gone to be saved. Pastor Steve asked Ernest to lift up his hands in surrender to GOD; Ernest told Steve that he would, but only if Steve would hold his shirt down so that no one would see his gun while his arms were up. Ernest — a hitman with a loaded gun in church service — gave his life to Christ that day and eventually led many other people to Christ. One day, Ernest was shot while walking the streets. When pastor Steve arrived at the scene, Ernest was face down on the ground, already dead. In Ernest’s hand appeared to be a gun; however, it was a copy of the New Testament. The world labeled Ernest as a murderer; Ernest proclaimed himself to be a murderer at one point; however, Ernest was made new in Christ and was called to be a preacher. Ernest’s title of ‘hitman’ wasn’t his true identity. And once Ernest realized his real identity, he received his true calling and his true title. Repentance and faith bring salvation. Despite his past, Ernest was a preacher and that is how we should remember him.

CALL TO ACTION:

(1)  Perhaps you genuinely desire to have a relationship with GOD, but you are guilty of judging people by their appearances. If that’s you, repent and ask GOD to help you see people in the loving way He sees them. “GOD, remove the veil of lies from my eyes! Open my eyes to see Truth! Help me to see people as you see them!”

(2)  Perhaps you don’t judge people by their appearances and assume the worst of them, but you do distance yourself from people who seem questionable. If that’s you, ask GOD to cast out fear and to fill you with the love and courage necessary to go introduce yourself to those people. You just might introduce yourself to someone who needs love the most.

(3) Perhaps you view yourself as the person who has only been judged by his/her appearance. Is it possible that you’ve closed yourself off and have prevented people from establishing relationships with you because you’re afraid of getting hurt? If that’s you, open yourself up again and allow people to get to know who you truly are. If possible, link up with someone else and then together go introduce yourselves to someone else.

(4)  Perhaps you just found yourself here but you’re not a committed follower of Christ. If that’s you, perhaps it’s time to get to know the One who died for you. Perhaps it’s time to get to know the GOD who desires to have a relationship with the person He created. GOD created you for a purpose. If you want to discover that purpose and know more, let it be known to GOD. Seek and you will find.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit, please inundate our hearts and convict us of the truth. Please open our eyes and help us to see beyond the superficial surface and to dive deep into the depth of Truth. Open our minds and enable us to see true identity beyond the facade of the face or the build of the body. Help us to love people the way you love them. I proclaim in the name of Jesus, the person reading this will discover his/her true identity in You. 

Overcome (Don’t Give Up!)

I’m posting this article in the middle of Suicide Prevention Month because the Holy Spirit has led me to do so. Confession: Even as a follower of Christ and messenger of GOD’s Word, I consistently battle depression. Let’s be real and admit that life is real – really challenging! I have battled and overcome many thoughts of suicide in the past – especially when I had been an atheist – but I still battle bouts of depression from time to time. Life is challenging and demanding and often thankless – especially as a Christian who loves his enemies. But through GOD, I am more than a conqueror! And you are too!

If you feel like giving up, this message is for you! I want to share a message on how to overcome nothing and also how to overcome everything. Whether you are underwhelmed or overwhelmed, this message is for you!

Overcoming Nothing:

First, I want to talk about the word, “doldrums.” Dictionaries define the doldrums as a period of stagnation or inactivity; it’s a time when general listlessness ensues. Basically, it is a period of time when nothing seems to happen and perhaps disappointment or depression sets in.

This colloquial expression of the doldrums derived from European sailors when they began to fully explore the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian Oceans. The earliest recorded use of the word [that I know of] was in 1811. The sailors referred to those parts of the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean affected by the Intertropical Convergence Zone, a low-pressure area around the equator where the winds were heated and shifted nearly vertical. This process created calm periods when the winds disappeared altogether, trapping sail-powered boats for periods of days or even weeks.

Everyone goes through the doldrums in life; no one is exempt. And if you happen to be sailing smoothly right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t experience the doldrums later on in life. At some point in life, everyone feels the anxiety that void creates. You may not experience the void due to sailing the seas, but everyone experiences the doldrums at some point along the journey in life. Perhaps you are in the doldrums with romance, finance and/or career. Perhaps you are in the doldrums with your faith-life. If you feel like you’re ‘stuck,’ you’re merely in the doldrums.

“Wait with hope for the Lord. Be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Yes, wait with hope for the Lord.”
(Psalm 27:14) -GW

The sailors who were ‘stuck’ in the doldrums could not risk giving up and retiring below deck to the sleeping quarters. Movement requires diligence, but also patience. The sailors had to be ready for whenever the winds returned if they were to ever make it out of the doldrums. The sails had to be secure, the ropes in place and knots tied firmly. If the boat wasn’t ready to sail when the wind arrived, the ship would stay in the doldrums.

Don’t give up. If you only take away one thing from this message, then remember this: don’t give up. You might be in the doldrums right now and feel like you’re ‘stuck,’ but the wind is coming; GOD’s breath of life is on the way. Are you prepared to sail? All hands on deck! Be ready! The blessings of GOD are on the way! But you must be prepared to sail for when those winds arrive.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
(Psalm 46:10) -ESV

To overcome nothing when ‘stuck’ in the doldrums, we need patience. But what about the times when everything seems to happen all at once and we feel overwhelmed rather than underwhelmed?

Overcoming Everything:

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.”
(2Corinthians 4: 8-9) -NLT

Though GOD’s blessings are sure to come, the greatest blessings usually take a long time to arrive. Under extreme pressure and temperature, carbon is transformed into diamonds. Diamonds are formed deep within the Earth in an area called the mantle, the layer between Earth’s crust and its super-heated core. And just as Earth produces diamonds within itself due to pressure, humans likewise have the capability of creating spiritual-diamonds from the pressure we feel from life. Many people do not realize that the greatest blessings of spiritual-diamonds we receive were formed from bad situations. Know this: lessons are blessings. GOD is able to transform life’s stressful demands into spiritual diamonds.

“We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us.”
(Romans 5: 3-5) –NCV

If I were able to do so, I would give you a diamond ring to wear so that it would serve as a reminder that the pressure from life’s demands can become diamonds if you allow them to be so. In addition to the diamond ring, I would also give to you a pearl necklace. Why would I give you a pearl necklace? Why not money? Cash could buy you something that you truly wanted, right? Why get you anything at all? Most gifts are superfluous and remain unused. Knowing that, why would I invest in a pearl necklace that you might not want to wear? What’s the purpose of the gift?

Well, most pieces of jewelry are fashioned out of precious metals and jewels that are found buried within the Earth; however, pearls are found inside of a living creature – an oyster (mollusk). A pearl is formed within an oyster; however, to understand why a pearl is created is important. The precious pearl is also a precious parable that aids us in understanding the value of character and living a victorious life. If you were to enjoy the necklace, that would be a premium; however, my gift to you would ultimately be this allegory:

When a single grain of sand (or any other irritating substance for that matter) gets stuck between the oyster’s mantle and shell, the oyster secrets a composite material called nacre. This shiny substance coats the grain of sand, and over the years, forms a lustrous pearl.

Let’s think of ourselves as oysters. When any bad or evil enters our lives (it has and will), we must cover that bad/evil over with good and transform the bad situation into a beautiful pearl.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
(Romans 12:21) -NKJV

Think about it! Even an oyster knows that if something bad enters its life, that bad thing (whatever it may be) must be dealt with and not ignored. When one ignores the bad, the evil and the pain in life, all of that negative energy accumulates and builds up pressure until it eventually explodes just as pressure accumulates and eventually causes a volcano to erupt. And as we have learned from the diamond, we need to redirect pressure in order to create the good in life. It is important to immediately face fears and address problems so that we may overcome adversity. If we do not immediately address the issue(s), it is easy to get buried by our problems.

Why do humans love pearls so much? Not just because of its iridescence – pearls are also admired for being formations of beauty that were created from bad situations!

Oysters are also important to ecosystems because they filter impurities from water and provide food and employment for people living in coastal communities. Think about it: You and I are oysters! We are meant to filter impurities from life in order to make life better for ourselves and others around us. We also keep our economy going as we continue to pitch in with work. We are meant to help each other and create lustrous pearls from bad situations along the way.

Please allow the diamond and the pearl to serve as a reminder that GOD can always turn a bad situation into a good situation. You can always turn a bad day into a good day. You can always cover evil’s intent with predetermination to prevail. The oyster declares that the bad in life will not overcome it, but that it will overcome the bad in life by covering that bad with good. I am going to declare the same! And I know some of you already made the decision to overcome and prevail – great! I just want to be a reminder and encourage you to continue to be as amazing as you have the potential to be.

You have encountered some bad situations already in your life and I know you’re healing from those encounters. You will undoubtedly have more bad life experiences along this journey we call life; many grains of sand will lodge themselves between your mantle and shell. But from those irritants, you need to create pearls. You are as lustrous as a pearl – the beauty within you shines bright. I want you to know that I see your beauty and potential. Regardless of the outcomes from the life experiences you will inevitably encounter, I want you to remember that you are greater than any opposition or adversity you may face and you will always be able to overcome any bad situation so long as you are in alignment with GOD’s will.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
(Matthew 6:33) – NLT
[read the entire section of Matthew 6:25-34]

“If God is for us, who can be against us?”
(Romans 8:31) -ESV

I know that we can always overcome adversity in life! Not only does GOD’s Word tell us that we can do so, but life reveals that truth to us even in nature. Joy breaks through hard surfaces; life grows from desolation; beauty refuses to be be hidden.

This flower came up through opposition and defied restrictions. The world may give you a hard time, but even the softest pedals of love will rise up during those times.

This flower calls attention to the beauty of life amongst the contrast desolation of the desert. Even when people tell you that something is impossible, this flower reminds you of the contrary — anything is possible for us with GOD!

“Nothing is impossible for God!”
(Luke 1: 37) –CEV

Sometimes, there won’t be any flowers to remind you of beauty. That doesn’t matter. Exterior circumstances should not define your inner disposition. If you are surrounded by a desert, create your own beauty (like the sand sculpture above)! In fact, what does an oyster most often use to create its pearl? A single grain of sand!

Beauty exists everywhere; joy can be created at any moment. You are a child of GOD and you are beautiful. That means you possess beauty within you. You possess life within you! Do you truly comprehend the life that is present within you?!

“It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s!”
(Romans 8:11) -MSG

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
(Romans 8:37-39) -NIV

Sometimes, you simply have to look around in order to find beauty; however, other times, you need to create beauty if it isn’t around to be found. And you already possess what it takes to create that beauty within you!

“Let us drop every extra weight, every sin that clings to us and slackens our pace, and let us run with endurance the long race set before us.”
(Hebrews 12:1) -Voice

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
(Galatians 6:9) -NLT

If this message helped you, please share it with at least five (5) people who you believe would benefit from it!

If you do not know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, I invite you to accept Jesus into your heart. Repentance leads to restoration, and then to revelation and then revival. You can feel alive again! If you have any doubts or questions, please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions or comments. If you want me to pray for you about anything, let me know and I will pray with you! I am not here to judge you; I am here to love you! May GOD equip, enable, empower, enhance, advance, and empower you! Remember: Don’t give up!

Purity

(Matthew 5:8) –GW
“Blessed are those whose thoughts are pure. They will see God.”

(Proverbs 25:4) –MSG
“Remove impurities from the silver and the silversmith can craft a fine chalice.”

Purity is commendable. What person commends another for his/her lack of purity? What element is desired to be impure? It should be our goal to remove impurities. Silver (or gold or diamonds for that matter), would not be as valuable or desirable as they are without the process that removes impurities. Why? Purity is beautiful. Is a diamond desired unless it meets the four C’s during inspection? The inspector examines the diamond for Cut, Clarity, Color, and Carat. The purity determines the quality.

Ponder on this: pure silver has the highest electrical and thermal conductivity of all metals. That means that the conductivity is reliable. People desire to use pure silver on circuit boards when they need the circuit board to work right the first time and every time. Remove impurities from your life so you can be conducive to GOD’s will for your life and the lives of others. To be as pure as possible, we need only to be in alignment with GOD’s will, which can be discerned by knowing GOD’s Word. The better you are aligned with GOD’s will, the more pure you become; therefore, your conductivity grows greater and greater. Those who follow GOD’s Word are better equipped to receive GOD’s directions; those who are better equipped to receive GOD’s directions are less likely to get lost.

(Ecclesiastes 10:1) –MSG
“Dead flies in perfume make it stink, and a little foolishness decomposes much wisdom.”

The bad contaminates what is good. A person desires his/her drinking water to be pure, right? Would you purchase purified water and then pour dirt in it right before you drink it? Would you put moldy bread in with fresh baked bread? Would you put your kitty cat in a coyote’s den? Good and bad don’t belong together. Good that is surrounded by bad stands a great chance of becoming bad. Picture purified water as the good in your life. Now picture just a single drop of food coloring as something that is bad. If you were to drip food coloring into purified water, that food coloring would spread and soon the water would no longer be clear. The bad contaminates the good. Did you know that GOD calls your sex life to be pure as well? Are you filling your body with contaminates? Are you filling your mind with impure thoughts? Is your house infested with mold? What impurities do you need to remove from your life today?  May the following Scriptures help guide you with your future decisions:

(Philippians 4:8) –NLT
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

(Leviticus 20:7-8) –NLT
“So set yourselves apart to be holy, for I am the Lord your God. Keep all my decrees by putting them into practice, for I am the Lord who makes you holy.”

(Ezekiel 44:23) –AMP
“The priests shall teach My people the difference between the holy and the common or profane, and cause them to distinguish between the unclean and the clean.”

(Matthew 5:28) –NIV
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

(Matthew 5:28) –MSG
“Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.”

(John 8:34) –NLT
“Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin.’ ”

(1Corinthians 6:18-19) –GW
“Stay away from sexual sins. Other sins that people commit don’t affect their bodies the same way sexual sins do. People who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. Don’t you know that your body is a temple that belongs to the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit, whom you received from God, lives in you. You don’t belong to yourselves.”

(1Corinthians 6:16-20) –MSG
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”

(1Thessalonians 4:3-7) –GW
“It is God’s will that you keep away from sexual sin as a mark of your devotion to him. Each of you should know that finding a husband or wife for yourself is to be done in a holy and honorable way, not in the passionate, lustful way of people who don’t know God. No one should take advantage of or exploit other believers that way. The Lord is the one who punishes people for all these things. We’ve already told you and warned you about this. God didn’t call us to be sexually immoral but to be holy.”

(2Corinthians 6:14-16) –GW
“Stop forming inappropriate relationships with unbelievers. Can right and wrong be partners? Can light have anything in common with darkness? Can Christ agree with the devil? Can a believer share life with an unbeliever? Can God’s temple contain false gods? Clearly, we are the temple of the living God. As God said, ‘I will live and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people.’ ” —[Leviticus 26:12; Jeremiah 32:38; Ezekiel 37:27]

(2Timothy 2:21) –NLT
“If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.”

(Matthew 15:11) –NLT
“It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”

(Proverbs 20:1) –GW
“Wine makes people mock, liquor makes them noisy, and everyone under their influence is unwise.”

(Proverbs 31:4) –NLT
“It is not for kings, O Lemuel, to guzzle wine. Rulers should not crave alcohol.”

(Hosea 4:11) –ERV
“Sexual sins, strong drink, and new wine ruin a person’s ability to think straight.”

(Micah 2:11) –CEV
“The only prophet you want is a liar who will say, ‘Drink and get drunk!’ ”

(Habakkuk 2:15) –AMP
“Woe to him who gives his neighbors drink, who pours out your bottle to them and adds to it your poisonous and blighting wrath and also makes them drunk, that you may look on their stripped condition and pour out foul shame [on their glory]!”

(Amos 2:12) –NLT
“But you caused the Nazirites to sin by making them drink wine, and you commanded the prophets, ‘Shut up!’”

In Genesis 9:20-25, Noah lost control and made a big mistake due to alcohol.

In Genesis 19:31-36, Lot was deceived and impregnated his  own daughters because he was drunk and unable to think clearly.

(Numbers 6:2-3) –NLT
“If any of the people, either men or women, take the special vow of a Nazirite, setting themselves apart to the Lord in a special way, they must give up wine and other alcoholic drinks.”

(Luke 1:14-16) –GW
“He [John the Baptist] will be your pride and joy, and many people will be glad that he was born. As far as the Lord is concerned, he will be a great man. He will never drink wine or any other liquor. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. He will bring many people in Israel back to the Lord their God.”

(Judges 13:3-4) –GW
“The Messenger of the Lord appeared to her [Manoah] and said, ‘You’ve never been able to have a child, but now you will become pregnant and have a son [Samson]. Now you must be careful. Don’t drink any wine or liquor or eat any unclean food.’ ”

(Isaiah 28:7) –GW
“Priests and prophets stagger from wine and wobble from too much liquor. They stagger from too much liquor and become confused from too much wine. They wobble because of their liquor. They stagger when they see visions. They swerve as they judge.”

Sex Matters (book review)

A distorted desire is often misconstrued, mistaken as love. It is unwise to confuse lust for love. And if one is to use love for descriptive purposes, the proper definition of love should be used so as not to taint the true meaning of love. Watch my video to understand the true meaning of love.

Sex Matters: (Additional Questions)

I recently read a book titled, “Sex Matters” (by Jonathan McKee). The book is short yet full of important (and truthful) information. If you are a parent and have a pre-teen or a teenager, I highly recommend that you purchase Jonathan’s book, absorb the information within, ready yourself to discuss the important (and inevitable) issue of sex with your teenager, and then give the book to your child.

At the end of each chapter within his book, Jonathan poses important questions that are designed to challenge the reader to dig deeper to discover Truth. I created my own list of questions to go along with the questions that are already in the book. My questions are not to replace the questions that are already there, but are to encourage deeper thoughts into the subject matter at hand. (I will also provide links to various sermons or arguments I’ve written that go along with the questions and subject matter.)

[ Quick prayer: I’m about to lose a portion of my life for my why, who are Your children. Lord, may You bless this mere moment of loss and magnificently maneuver the making of a great gain in the great reversal of restoration and relentless rescue! May these seeds be planted in good soil and not along the path, the rocky ground, or among the thorns. May Your will be done. Amen. ]

The following is my list of questions that I have added to each section of his book:

A Note to Parents Who Might Be Screening This Book:

1 A pre-teen / teenager is listening and observing; he/she is going to absorb information. To whom will he/she be listening? What will be observed? What information will be absorbed and who will be providing the information? Is the information reliable and accurate?

2 In a world full of convincing lies, are you willing and able to tackle curious questions and provide credible answers with the explicit Truth?

3 Is arming a child with Truth the same as shielding the child from lies? Why or why not?

4 In battle, is a shield alone enough? Why or why not?

5 How long can one hold up a shield before tiring and letting it down?

6 A turtle may have a fairly good defense, but how long can its shell withstand the hammer’s blow before cracking under the consistent pressure?

Start Here:

1 Why is it important to know the answer before the question arises? (Did you know the answer to this question or did it leave you searching for an answer?)

2 What usually happens when you encounter a situation where you don’t readily have an answer and don’t know what to do?

3 Read my article “What is Truth?” – Why is Truth important?

4 What do you believe is expected of you in order to be able to enter a romantic relationship with someone? Are there certain qualities or attributes you must possess? Why do you believe people expect these things from you in order for you to qualify into a relationship? Are these expectations realistic and reasonable? Explain. What is reasonable? Why?

5 Do you feel pressure to look a certain way or act a certain way in order to be accepted as “relationship worthy?” If so, what do you believe is expected of you?

6 What do you believe is expected of you once you are in a romantic relationship with someone? Do you feel pressure to do certain things or act a certain way? Are these expectations realistic and reasonable? Explain.

7 Is it possible that something is fun for you yet not for someone else? If so, can you provide an example?

8 Is it possible for something fun to lead to negative consequences? If so, can you provide an example?

Why Wait?:

1 Do you have doubts? What are they?

2 How many mistakes have you made in your lifetime? Did you make those mistakes on purpose or out of ignorance (you didn’t know better or were unaware)?

3 Do you believe that knowing the Truth can help prevent you from making mistakes? Why or why not?

4 If you knew your decision to do something ‘fun’ would create a negative consequence, would you still do it? Why or why not?

5 Does love need sex to be meaningful? Can love exist without sex? Can sex exist without love? Does sex need love to be meaningful? So, are sex and love the same thing?

6 Is it always good to try something new? Why or why not?

7 Read Genesis 3:1-24. Did trying something new benefit Adam and Eve? Why or why not?

8 Can you think of any other examples where trying something new would not be good?

9 Read Song of Songs: 2:7. How does this relate or apply to this chapter?

How Far?:

1 Is it better to choose fun over future or fun in future? Explain.

2 If you are wondering how far you can go, does that mean you have already started the process of going too far? Why or why not?

3 Look up the word “juggernaut” in the dictionary. How does its meaning relate or apply to this chapter?

4 Read my article “Purity” – Is purity important? Explain.

5 Where is the line between right and wrong? How do you know?

6 Can you know what is crooked without first knowing what is straight? Can you know what is wrong without first knowing what is right?

7 Read my article “Moral Relativism” – How do you know what is right?

8 Do sports have lines and boundaries? Are they necessary? Why or why not? Do sports have rules/laws? Are they necessary? Why or why not?

9 Does society/civilization have lines/boundaries/rules/laws? Necessary? Why or why not?

10 Does Earth have a boundary between us and space? Necessary? Why or why not? Does Earth have rules/laws such as gravity or Newton’s first law of motion (inertia)? Necessary? Why or why not?

11 Can you think of any examples where going beyond lines/boundaries would be wrong? Where denying or disobeying rules/laws would be bad?

12 Read my article “The Design” – How does it relate or apply to this chapter?

Fleeing:

1 What are your thoughts about each of the following Scriptures?: Genesis 4:7; Deuteronomy 11:26-28; 30:19; Proverbs 1:33; 4:25-27; 10:17; 14:12-13; Galatians 5:13; 1Corinthians 8:9; 1Peter 2:16

2 Do you get better at what you practice? What actions are you practicing? Are there any bad actions you’re now good at doing? If so, how did you get good at doing what is bad?

3 Do you need to beware if you are aware? In other words, do you need to be cautious of or alert to the dangers in life if you have informed knowledge or perception of the dangers?  Explain.

4 Read 1Peter 5:8. How does this relate or apply to this chapter?

5 A drug is a mind-altering substance. Alcohol is a mind-altering substance. Are there any benefits to altering or otherwise disconnecting your mind? Explain.

6 Is it possible to live out 1Peter 5:8 without being sober minded? Why or why not? What does it mean to be sober minded?

7 Can you describe your future spouse? Can you find who you’re looking for without first knowing what you’re looking for? Why or why not?

8 If you could create a list of character qualities that would describe your future spouse, what would it look like?

9 What is the purpose of a lure? Are lures attractive? What happens to a fish that is attracted to a lure?

The Lure of Porn and Masturbation:

1 If you are traveling in the wrong direction, is it more wise to turn around and find the right road or to continue traveling in the wrong direction and hope you end up at the right place?

2 The more you do something the easier it becomes. Agree or disagree? Explain.

3 If repeated actions become habits, what habits have you created? What new habits are you forming? Are the newly forming habits good or bad? Explain.

4 How do the following Scriptures apply to this chapter?: Proverbs 27:17; Ecclesiastes 4:12; Hebrews 3:13

5 What is love? How do you define love?

6 What are your thoughts regarding the following Scriptures?: 1Corinthians 13:4-8; Song of Solomon 8:6-7

7 Look up the words “callous” and “desensitize” in the dictionary. How do these words relate or apply to this chapter?

8 Read my article “Pornography: The Pervasive Plague” – What are your thoughts?

Tough Questions:

1 Have you ever tried to justify the wrong you did to avoid feeling the guilt? Did it work? If so, for how long?

2 Is it more important to obtain immediate pleasure or fulfill purpose in the long run? Explain.

3 If there is training and discipline that is required of a soldier prior to entering a physical battle, do you believe that training and discipline is necessary for a spiritual war? Why or why not?

4 Read Ephesians 6:10-20. How does this relate or apply to this chapter/book?

5 Is it wise for a soldier to go into battle alone? Why or why not?

6 How do the following Scriptures relate or apply to this chapter/book?: Proverbs 27:17; Ecclesiastes 4:12; Matthew 18:20

7 Who are your comrades? Why are they your comrades? What qualities or characteristics do they possess that they should be chosen to be your comrades?

8 Is trust to be freely given or must it be earned? Explain.

9 Environment influences decisions. What is your environment? What is your social and cultural surroundings that have helped to shape and form you? Do you believe you might think and act differently if you lived somewhere else? Explain.

10 What do you notice most people wearing or doing? Why do you believe they are wearing that or doing those things? Do you also wear that or do those things? Why do you believe those things are so common? What happens to the people who do not wear those things or do those things? Research popular fashion for each decade – begin in the 1920’s and end at today’s date. Despite all the differences, what is the common theme you notice in each decade? Why do you think that is so?

11 Read my article “Reflection and Direction” – Who or what do you reflect?

12 Do you know the purpose of a landmine? How many spiritual landmines do you believe exist outside the boundary of GOD’s plan?

13 Read my article “Minefield” – In what ways will you watch your step?

14 What are your lures? What attracts you and distracts you?

15 Do you believe that knowing your weaknesses can help you grow stronger? Why or why not?

16 Do you believe that knowing your limitations can help you define boundaries? Why or why not?

17 It is a fact that you have feelings, but do feelings determine facts? Do facts change because feelings change? Should feelings be separated from facts? Explain.

18 Is a mistake a failure or a successful attempt at trying? Explain.

19 Is it better to avoid mistakes or recover from mistakes? Explain.

20 Read my article “Subtle” – How does this relate or apply to this chapter/book?

Finale: 

1 What is the ultimate end goal for your love life?

2 What can you do to ensure that you will achieve your goal?

3 Is it possible to be with the right person if you are spending time with the wrong person? If you refuse to spend time with the wrong person, will that make you available for the right person when the right person comes along? Why or why not?

4 To sacrifice is to give up something good that you want in order to receive something more important that you need. Agree or disagree? Explain.

5 If sex before marriage is the sacrifice of “something good that you want,” what do you believe is the “something more important that you need”? Explain.

6 Many people know what they are doing and even know how they are doing what they are doing, but they don’t fully comprehend why they do what they do. Do you know why you do what you do?

7 Read my article “What Is Your Why?” – Do you know? What is your why?

8 Should a soldier commit to fighting in a battle without first knowing why the battle must be won? Explain.

9 What is your battle? Why must your battle be won?

10 If I were to tell you that you are my why, would it mean anything to you? Would it change who I am to you? Would it help you recognize that the amount of letters produced in all my questions is a level of love I have for you? How much love do you see written?

11 Time is the most valuable of all currency. It is free, but it is priceless. You can have it, but you cannot hold on to it. You cannot own it, but you are allowed to use it. You are given a specific amount of time to spend. You can spend it, but it can never be replenished. The moments you have now you will never have again. The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. When you give someone your time, you are giving that person a portion of your life you will never get back. How much time do you believe I spent on reading and writing simply because you are my why? How much do you mean to me? Who do you think I believe you to be? What will you do with that?