What Is Love?

The following article is Lesson 3 from my book, Superhero University: The Ultimate Superhero Training Manual:

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Superheroes, having the correct understanding of what is good and right, are full of love, and they are compelled to act out from love. This is the only reason we can distinguish the hero from the villain. Spider-Man doesn’t save a falling person from splatting on the ground because he hates the person he saves, right? The superhero saves someone from danger/death because he/she has love for the person he/she is saving. In stark contrast, the villain performs acts of evil, not love. Again, evil is merely a privation of what is good; hatred is a privation or lack of love. It is written in James 2:8 that we are doing right by living a life of love toward others. But what is love? 

Love is not something we can have or hold like materialists would like us to believe. Not everything in life can be boiled down to materialism. Think about it: Can you describe the physical features of love or even the thought about love? How much does love weigh? Of what is the love molecule comprised? There is no infinity stone of love we can possess that can be contained in a gauntlet. In fact, of all the infinity stones Thanos (from the Avengers) had been able to collect that provided him with seemingly unlimited power and ability, it is evident that he lacked love, and that is why he had no qualms about murdering half of the created creatures in the universe—including his own daughter! In fact, Thanos had to sacrifice love in order to be able to obtain one of the infinity stones. Ultimately, Thanos traded love for power because he could not possess both. 

But what is love? And why do humans possess the capability to love? If love is not a material that can be weighed, or measured, how are humans able to possess love? How do we even know that love exists? Does love exist? We know that love exists—not because humans have defined the term—but because the Creator provided the definition of love and humans live by that defined divine design. 

Think about this: Oxygen—the air we breathe—exists whether humanity believes in it or not. In fact, oxygen exists even if humans call it something else. Humanity never created or invented oxygen; we merely discovered it. Likewise, love exists whether humanity believes love exists or not. Love exists even if humans call it something else. In fact, the definition of love is so confused by many humans because they believe it to be something it is not. Many people misuse the word love when they are actually referring to something else that love is not. And this is why it is important that the word love be clearly defined. 

(1 John 4:7–8, NLT)
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

(1 John 4:19, ESV)
“We love because he first loved us.”

Scripture makes sense. If GOD is love, then we would love because GOD first loved us because GOD created us. We are able to love because GOD is love and we are from GOD. If love is GOD, then we must know who GOD is so we can better understand what love is. So who is GOD? We will examine that in detail in Lesson 32, but for now suffice it to say that GOD is love and the absolute moral standard and therefore provides the definition of love (which we will soon examine and define). But we can also better understand love by examining what love is not. 

Love Is Not An Emotion 

Many people in the world claim that love is an emotion, but that simply isn’t true. Love affects our emotions and even causes us to produce emotions within us, but love is not an emotion in and of itself. You may claim that you can feel as if someone loves you, but love is not a feeling. 

Love Is Not Sexual Intercourse 

It is unwise to confuse sex for love and love for sex. Sex needs love to be relevant and meaningful; however, love does not need sex to be relevant and meaningful. A person can have sex with another person simply for the pleasure all while possessing no love for that individual. Examples of this, of course, is prostitution or rape. Such acts of sexual intercourse are meaningless because there is no love in the act of sex. That kind of sex serves a selfish purpose, but has no ultimate meaning. And of course, sex isn’t necessary for love to exist, to be relevant and be meaningful (I will expound upon this later when I define love). Now sex may be found in one of the definitions of love (Eros—I’ll get to this soon), but Eros is within the definition of love; love is ultimately selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. A distorted desire is often misconstrued, mistaken as love. It is unwise to confuse lust for love. 

Even if love is not an emotion, a feeling, or even the act of sexual intercourse, does it matter if love can be clearly defined? If so, why does it matter? Consider what is written: 

(1 Corin. 13:1–3, NLT)
“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

The definition of love matters because GOD is love and GOD created us in His image (Gen. 1:27). For without GOD, love would not matter because life would ultimately be meaningless and purposeless. And if we are to be loving beings, it is important that we understand the definition of love. 

What Is Love? 

(1 Corin. 13:4–8, NLT)
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!”

Love Is an Action 

Though it is not specifically and solely the act of sexual intercourse, love is definitely an action; it is something we do. Read verses 4–7 again and take notice of the fourteen different active descriptions the Holy Spirit (via Paul) uses to define love (patience, kindness, etc.). It’s important to note that this is not Paul’s definition of love, but the definition of love written by Paul while he was inspired by the Holy Spirit. 

Love Is a Choice 

The fourteen active descriptions are actions that we choose to do or not to do. There’s a nonsensical saying that states, “You can’t help who you love.” But yes—you can! We get to decide if we love and who we will love if we decide to love. And this is because we have free will (discussed in Lesson 41). 

Also, there’s a saying that states, “I fell in love.” It sounds so romantic, but this is also nonsense. Love is not a hole or trapdoor we can fall in. You don’t fall in love any more than you fall out of love. Love is a choice. You choose to love. You choose not to love. People do not fall in love; people decide to love. People do, however, fall into the trapdoor of lust. When people talk about love at first sight, what they really mean is lust at first sight. Now is it possible to possess love for someone at first sight? General love? Yes. Complete love? No. Love in the sense that you want the best for someone? Yes. Love in the sense that you desire the best for someone despite all his/her flaws and mistakes? No. It’s not possible to love someone so deeply at first sight because you wouldn’t know the flaws and mistakes associated with the person. And how is it possible to truly love someone unless you love despite the flaws and mistakes? 

Love, in a nutshell, is the good you will show toward someone and/or others. It’s treating someone else with the qualities described in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7. Take the Supreme Superhero (Jesus) as an example (after all, the Savior is the definition of love and the ultimate example of love): 

(John 15:12–13, NLT)
“This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

However, the Supreme Superhero goes even further by commanding us to love our enemies (Matt. 5:43–48). And then the Savior did exactly that—Jesus went out and laid down His life for us by dying on the cross as our atoning sacrifice while being mocked, spat on, beaten, lacerated, and murdered by those who hated Him for no good reason. Love is caring more for others than for self because love is selfless. Love is sacrificial. Love is unconditional. 

Love Defined 

Unlike the English language, which uses the one word of love ambiguously, the ancient Greek language used different words to define the one word of love so that people wouldn’t be confused as to which definition of love should be inferred. Examine the four following words and their associated definitions: 

• Storge/stergo—This is a familial love such as the love of a parent toward offspring and vice versa. Devotion can be a key word associated with this type of love.

• Phileo—This love is companionable and relational. It means brotherly/sisterly love or friendship. It carries the idea of two or more people who feel compatible with each other.

• Eros—This is the word for sexual or romantic love. In fact, this is where we get the word erotic. This word implies a sexual demand. And because it is unwise to confuse lust for love, it is imperative that we not confuse lust for Eros. The passion and intimacy of Eros is to be confined within the covenant bond between husband and wife, as was designed by the Designer. Lust is only about the pelvic thrust, to seek pleasure and fulfill a selfish desire. Lust is committed only to fulfilling a distorted desire whereas love (eros) is committed to fulfilling the needs of the partner within the covenant union. Therefore, be wise: pursue love and reject thoughts produced from the lustful lair of the Liar—they are lies created in the cave of the contemptible con artist and Counterfeiter, the Salesman that is Satan. Don’t buy the lies. Even a lustful look is adultery in the heart (Matt. 5:28). Money can’t buy you love. And no—that’s actually not from the Beatles—it’s from the Song of Solomon 8:7.

• Agape—This is the highest and deepest level of love. This is the ultimate love and is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. This is the love of GOD. This is the type of love all superheroes should possess. 

(1 Pet. 4:8, NLT)
“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.”

Love covers a multitude of sins? Is that true? Yes! In fact, that is exactly what Jesus did for us:

(Rom. 5:6–8, NLT)
“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us sinners. Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

For love, compassion is the key and empathy is everything: 

(Luke 23:34, NLT)
“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Jesus is able to see us as His precious people, not a pervasive problem such as a plague. The Savior sees us as eternal beings, not mortal enemies. The Supreme Superhero sees us as family who belong in His heavenly home, not failures to be flung in the fiery furnace. Hell is where evil belongs and will ultimately be quarantined, but GOD doesn’t desire for us to go to that awful place. In fact, the Lord desires for everyone to be saved and doesn’t take any delight in the destruction of the wicked (Ezek. 18:21–23; 33:11; 1 Tim. 2:4; 2 Pet. 3:9). 

Jesus is our awesome, ardent advocate who absorbed for us the penalty of sin. Apostle Paul assists us by providing an important reminder that helps us put people into proper perspective: 

(Eph. 6:12, NLT)
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

It is of the utmost importance that all superheroes remember this: we are to hate evil/sin, but we are to love people. 

Conclusion 

1. Love never fails. 

(Song of Sol. 8:7, NLT)
“Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.”

2. Love perfects us. 

(1 John 4:12–18, NLT)
“No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us. And God has given us his Spirit as proof that we live in him and he in us. Furthermore, we have seen with our own eyes and now testify that the Father sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. All who declare that Jesus is the Son of God have God living in them, and they live in God. We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect. So we will not be afraid on the day of judgment, but we can face him with confidence because we live like Jesus here in this world. Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.”

3. Love is supreme. 

(1 Corin. 13:13, NLT)
“Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.”

Reflection 

If you want to be a superhero, you must possess love and choose to love others. A superhero can only be a superhero if the hero first and foremost possesses love for others. Do you possess love for others? If not, you resemble a villain. But wait—is that a fair statement? Consider the words of the Supreme Superhero:

(Matt. 12:30, ESV)
“Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.”

The late and great Martin Luther King Jr. once posed a powerful question to the clergymen of Alabama in his renowned letter, “Letter from Birmingham Jail.” He asked, “So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love?” 

And that’s not a fallacy of false dilemma—if we’re not loving others, then…we’re not loving people. Therefore, I implore everyone to examine the motives and intentions of each and every choice/decision you make. Are you able to recognize good from bad? Right from wrong? Are you living a life of love or hate? For if you’re not living a life of love, what are you doing and what is your life? I choose to live an extreme life of love (not lust), and I urge you to do the same. Don’t scatter. Be a gatherer. Ironically, the best way to be a gatherer of people is to scatter seeds of love. How many seeds of love can you sow today? 

So ask yourself, do you love others? From where did you get this desire to love? Do you feel compelled to act out from love? If so, why do you think that is? All superheroes possess love for people. If you love people, then you possess one of the qualities of a superhero and you just might be one someday! 

Overcome (Don’t Give Up!)

I’m posting this article in the middle of Suicide Prevention Month because the Holy Spirit has led me to do so. Confession: Even as a follower of Christ and messenger of GOD’s Word, I consistently battle depression. Let’s be real and admit that life is real – really challenging! I have battled and overcome many thoughts of suicide in the past – especially when I had been an atheist – but I still battle bouts of depression from time to time. Life is challenging and demanding and often thankless – especially as a Christian who loves his enemies. But through GOD, I am more than a conqueror! And you are too!

If you feel like giving up, this message is for you! I want to share a message on how to overcome nothing and also how to overcome everything. Whether you are underwhelmed or overwhelmed, this message is for you!

Overcoming Nothing:

First, I want to talk about the word, “doldrums.” Dictionaries define the doldrums as a period of stagnation or inactivity; it’s a time when general listlessness ensues. Basically, it is a period of time when nothing seems to happen and perhaps disappointment or depression sets in.

This colloquial expression of the doldrums derived from European sailors when they began to fully explore the Atlantic, Pacific and Indian Oceans. The earliest recorded use of the word [that I know of] was in 1811. The sailors referred to those parts of the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean affected by the Intertropical Convergence Zone, a low-pressure area around the equator where the winds were heated and shifted nearly vertical. This process created calm periods when the winds disappeared altogether, trapping sail-powered boats for periods of days or even weeks.

Everyone goes through the doldrums in life; no one is exempt. And if you happen to be sailing smoothly right now, that doesn’t mean you won’t experience the doldrums later on in life. At some point in life, everyone feels the anxiety that void creates. You may not experience the void due to sailing the seas, but everyone experiences the doldrums at some point along the journey in life. Perhaps you are in the doldrums with romance, finance and/or career. Perhaps you are in the doldrums with your faith-life. If you feel like you’re ‘stuck,’ you’re merely in the doldrums.

“Wait with hope for the Lord. Be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Yes, wait with hope for the Lord.”
(Psalm 27:14) -GW

The sailors who were ‘stuck’ in the doldrums could not risk giving up and retiring below deck to the sleeping quarters. Movement requires diligence, but also patience. The sailors had to be ready for whenever the winds returned if they were to ever make it out of the doldrums. The sails had to be secure, the ropes in place and knots tied firmly. If the boat wasn’t ready to sail when the wind arrived, the ship would stay in the doldrums.

Don’t give up. If you only take away one thing from this message, then remember this: don’t give up. You might be in the doldrums right now and feel like you’re ‘stuck,’ but the wind is coming; GOD’s breath of life is on the way. Are you prepared to sail? All hands on deck! Be ready! The blessings of GOD are on the way! But you must be prepared to sail for when those winds arrive.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”
(Psalm 46:10) -ESV

To overcome nothing when ‘stuck’ in the doldrums, we need patience. But what about the times when everything seems to happen all at once and we feel overwhelmed rather than underwhelmed?

Overcoming Everything:

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.”
(2Corinthians 4: 8-9) -NLT

Though GOD’s blessings are sure to come, the greatest blessings usually take a long time to arrive. Under extreme pressure and temperature, carbon is transformed into diamonds. Diamonds are formed deep within the Earth in an area called the mantle, the layer between Earth’s crust and its super-heated core. And just as Earth produces diamonds within itself due to pressure, humans likewise have the capability of creating spiritual-diamonds from the pressure we feel from life. Many people do not realize that the greatest blessings of spiritual-diamonds we receive were formed from bad situations. Know this: lessons are blessings. GOD is able to transform life’s stressful demands into spiritual diamonds.

“We also have joy with our troubles, because we know that these troubles produce patience. And patience produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope will never disappoint us, because God has poured out his love to fill our hearts. He gave us his love through the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to us.”
(Romans 5: 3-5) –NCV

If I were able to do so, I would give you a diamond ring to wear so that it would serve as a reminder that the pressure from life’s demands can become diamonds if you allow them to be so. In addition to the diamond ring, I would also give to you a pearl necklace. Why would I give you a pearl necklace? Why not money? Cash could buy you something that you truly wanted, right? Why get you anything at all? Most gifts are superfluous and remain unused. Knowing that, why would I invest in a pearl necklace that you might not want to wear? What’s the purpose of the gift?

Well, most pieces of jewelry are fashioned out of precious metals and jewels that are found buried within the Earth; however, pearls are found inside of a living creature – an oyster (mollusk). A pearl is formed within an oyster; however, to understand why a pearl is created is important. The precious pearl is also a precious parable that aids us in understanding the value of character and living a victorious life. If you were to enjoy the necklace, that would be a premium; however, my gift to you would ultimately be this allegory:

When a single grain of sand (or any other irritating substance for that matter) gets stuck between the oyster’s mantle and shell, the oyster secrets a composite material called nacre. This shiny substance coats the grain of sand, and over the years, forms a lustrous pearl.

Let’s think of ourselves as oysters. When any bad or evil enters our lives (it has and will), we must cover that bad/evil over with good and transform the bad situation into a beautiful pearl.

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
(Romans 12:21) -NKJV

Think about it! Even an oyster knows that if something bad enters its life, that bad thing (whatever it may be) must be dealt with and not ignored. When one ignores the bad, the evil and the pain in life, all of that negative energy accumulates and builds up pressure until it eventually explodes just as pressure accumulates and eventually causes a volcano to erupt. And as we have learned from the diamond, we need to redirect pressure in order to create the good in life. It is important to immediately face fears and address problems so that we may overcome adversity. If we do not immediately address the issue(s), it is easy to get buried by our problems.

Why do humans love pearls so much? Not just because of its iridescence – pearls are also admired for being formations of beauty that were created from bad situations!

Oysters are also important to ecosystems because they filter impurities from water and provide food and employment for people living in coastal communities. Think about it: You and I are oysters! We are meant to filter impurities from life in order to make life better for ourselves and others around us. We also keep our economy going as we continue to pitch in with work. We are meant to help each other and create lustrous pearls from bad situations along the way.

Please allow the diamond and the pearl to serve as a reminder that GOD can always turn a bad situation into a good situation. You can always turn a bad day into a good day. You can always cover evil’s intent with predetermination to prevail. The oyster declares that the bad in life will not overcome it, but that it will overcome the bad in life by covering that bad with good. I am going to declare the same! And I know some of you already made the decision to overcome and prevail – great! I just want to be a reminder and encourage you to continue to be as amazing as you have the potential to be.

You have encountered some bad situations already in your life and I know you’re healing from those encounters. You will undoubtedly have more bad life experiences along this journey we call life; many grains of sand will lodge themselves between your mantle and shell. But from those irritants, you need to create pearls. You are as lustrous as a pearl – the beauty within you shines bright. I want you to know that I see your beauty and potential. Regardless of the outcomes from the life experiences you will inevitably encounter, I want you to remember that you are greater than any opposition or adversity you may face and you will always be able to overcome any bad situation so long as you are in alignment with GOD’s will.

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
(Matthew 6:33) – NLT
[read the entire section of Matthew 6:25-34]

“If God is for us, who can be against us?”
(Romans 8:31) -ESV

I know that we can always overcome adversity in life! Not only does GOD’s Word tell us that we can do so, but life reveals that truth to us even in nature. Joy breaks through hard surfaces; life grows from desolation; beauty refuses to be be hidden.

This flower came up through opposition and defied restrictions. The world may give you a hard time, but even the softest pedals of love will rise up during those times.

This flower calls attention to the beauty of life amongst the contrast desolation of the desert. Even when people tell you that something is impossible, this flower reminds you of the contrary — anything is possible for us with GOD!

“Nothing is impossible for God!”
(Luke 1: 37) –CEV

Sometimes, there won’t be any flowers to remind you of beauty. That doesn’t matter. Exterior circumstances should not define your inner disposition. If you are surrounded by a desert, create your own beauty (like the sand sculpture above)! In fact, what does an oyster most often use to create its pearl? A single grain of sand!

Beauty exists everywhere; joy can be created at any moment. You are a child of GOD and you are beautiful. That means you possess beauty within you. You possess life within you! Do you truly comprehend the life that is present within you?!

“It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s!”
(Romans 8:11) -MSG

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
(Romans 8:37-39) -NIV

Sometimes, you simply have to look around in order to find beauty; however, other times, you need to create beauty if it isn’t around to be found. And you already possess what it takes to create that beauty within you!

“Let us drop every extra weight, every sin that clings to us and slackens our pace, and let us run with endurance the long race set before us.”
(Hebrews 12:1) -Voice

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
(Galatians 6:9) -NLT

If this message helped you, please share it with at least five (5) people who you believe would benefit from it!

If you do not know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, I invite you to accept Jesus into your heart. Repentance leads to restoration, and then to revelation and then revival. You can feel alive again! If you have any doubts or questions, please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions or comments. If you want me to pray for you about anything, let me know and I will pray with you! I am not here to judge you; I am here to love you! May GOD equip, enable, empower, enhance, advance, and empower you! Remember: Don’t give up!

Purity

(Matthew 5:8) –GW
“Blessed are those whose thoughts are pure. They will see God.”

(Proverbs 25:4) –MSG
“Remove impurities from the silver and the silversmith can craft a fine chalice.”

Purity is commendable. What person commends another for his/her lack of purity? What element is desired to be impure? It should be our goal to remove impurities. Silver (or gold or diamonds for that matter), would not be as valuable or desirable as they are without the process that removes impurities. Why? Purity is beautiful. Is a diamond desired unless it meets the four C’s during inspection? The inspector examines the diamond for Cut, Clarity, Color, and Carat. The purity determines the quality.

Ponder on this: pure silver has the highest electrical and thermal conductivity of all metals. That means that the conductivity is reliable. People desire to use pure silver on circuit boards when they need the circuit board to work right the first time and every time. Remove impurities from your life so you can be conducive to GOD’s will for your life and the lives of others. To be as pure as possible, we need only to be in alignment with GOD’s will, which can be discerned by knowing GOD’s Word. The better you are aligned with GOD’s will, the more pure you become; therefore, your conductivity grows greater and greater. Those who follow GOD’s Word are better equipped to receive GOD’s directions; those who are better equipped to receive GOD’s directions are less likely to get lost.

(Ecclesiastes 10:1) –MSG
“Dead flies in perfume make it stink, and a little foolishness decomposes much wisdom.”

The bad contaminates what is good. A person desires his/her drinking water to be pure, right? Would you purchase purified water and then pour dirt in it right before you drink it? Would you put moldy bread in with fresh baked bread? Would you put your kitty cat in a coyote’s den? Good and bad don’t belong together. Good that is surrounded by bad stands a great chance of becoming bad. Picture purified water as the good in your life. Now picture just a single drop of food coloring as something that is bad. If you were to drip food coloring into purified water, that food coloring would spread and soon the water would no longer be clear. The bad contaminates the good. Did you know that GOD calls your sex life to be pure as well? Are you filling your body with contaminates? Are you filling your mind with impure thoughts? Is your house infested with mold? What impurities do you need to remove from your life today?  May the following Scriptures help guide you with your future decisions:

(Philippians 4:8) –NLT
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

(Leviticus 20:7-8) –NLT
“So set yourselves apart to be holy, for I am the Lord your God. Keep all my decrees by putting them into practice, for I am the Lord who makes you holy.”

(Ezekiel 44:23) –AMP
“The priests shall teach My people the difference between the holy and the common or profane, and cause them to distinguish between the unclean and the clean.”

(Matthew 5:28) –NIV
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

(Matthew 5:28) –MSG
“Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices—they also corrupt.”

(John 8:34) –NLT
“Jesus replied, ‘I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin.’ ”

(1Corinthians 6:18-19) –GW
“Stay away from sexual sins. Other sins that people commit don’t affect their bodies the same way sexual sins do. People who sin sexually sin against their own bodies. Don’t you know that your body is a temple that belongs to the Holy Spirit? The Holy Spirit, whom you received from God, lives in you. You don’t belong to yourselves.”

(1Corinthians 6:16-20) –MSG
“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.”

(1Thessalonians 4:3-7) –GW
“It is God’s will that you keep away from sexual sin as a mark of your devotion to him. Each of you should know that finding a husband or wife for yourself is to be done in a holy and honorable way, not in the passionate, lustful way of people who don’t know God. No one should take advantage of or exploit other believers that way. The Lord is the one who punishes people for all these things. We’ve already told you and warned you about this. God didn’t call us to be sexually immoral but to be holy.”

(2Corinthians 6:14-16) –GW
“Stop forming inappropriate relationships with unbelievers. Can right and wrong be partners? Can light have anything in common with darkness? Can Christ agree with the devil? Can a believer share life with an unbeliever? Can God’s temple contain false gods? Clearly, we are the temple of the living God. As God said, ‘I will live and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people.’ ” —[Leviticus 26:12; Jeremiah 32:38; Ezekiel 37:27]

(2Timothy 2:21) –NLT
“If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.”

(Matthew 15:11) –NLT
“It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”

(Proverbs 20:1) –GW
“Wine makes people mock, liquor makes them noisy, and everyone under their influence is unwise.”

(Proverbs 31:4) –NLT
“It is not for kings, O Lemuel, to guzzle wine. Rulers should not crave alcohol.”

(Hosea 4:11) –ERV
“Sexual sins, strong drink, and new wine ruin a person’s ability to think straight.”

(Micah 2:11) –CEV
“The only prophet you want is a liar who will say, ‘Drink and get drunk!’ ”

(Habakkuk 2:15) –AMP
“Woe to him who gives his neighbors drink, who pours out your bottle to them and adds to it your poisonous and blighting wrath and also makes them drunk, that you may look on their stripped condition and pour out foul shame [on their glory]!”

(Amos 2:12) –NLT
“But you caused the Nazirites to sin by making them drink wine, and you commanded the prophets, ‘Shut up!’”

In Genesis 9:20-25, Noah lost control and made a big mistake due to alcohol.

In Genesis 19:31-36, Lot was deceived and impregnated his  own daughters because he was drunk and unable to think clearly.

(Numbers 6:2-3) –NLT
“If any of the people, either men or women, take the special vow of a Nazirite, setting themselves apart to the Lord in a special way, they must give up wine and other alcoholic drinks.”

(Luke 1:14-16) –GW
“He [John the Baptist] will be your pride and joy, and many people will be glad that he was born. As far as the Lord is concerned, he will be a great man. He will never drink wine or any other liquor. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. He will bring many people in Israel back to the Lord their God.”

(Judges 13:3-4) –GW
“The Messenger of the Lord appeared to her [Manoah] and said, ‘You’ve never been able to have a child, but now you will become pregnant and have a son [Samson]. Now you must be careful. Don’t drink any wine or liquor or eat any unclean food.’ ”

(Isaiah 28:7) –GW
“Priests and prophets stagger from wine and wobble from too much liquor. They stagger from too much liquor and become confused from too much wine. They wobble because of their liquor. They stagger when they see visions. They swerve as they judge.”

Pornography: The Pervasive Plague

Who here knows the definition of honesty? Today, I need you to be honest with me, but more importantly, I need you to be honest with yourself. To all the men reading this: how many of you would get upset if your girlfriend/wife intentionally looked at another naked man? To all the women reading this: how many of you would get upset if your boyfriend/husband intentionally looked at another naked woman? Now I pose this question to all of you: how many of you would get upset if your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife got pleasure from what he/she saw? How many of you would get upset if your boyfriend/girlfriend/ husband/wife masturbated to the image that he/she saw? An image of a person who is not you?

The emotion that would arouse anger and cause you to feel upset is called jealousy, and jealousy often stems from insecurity. But insecurity within a romantic relationship often arises due to mistrust and misconduct.

I just posed some questions to you, questions which invoked responses in many of you to ultimately feel upset. It is quite easy to dislike something or get upset over it when it affects you personally, but are you able to examine yourself in equivalent scenarios to realize what consequences your choices/decisions truly have on yourself as well as others? The questions I asked you to answer specifically described a pervasive plague known as pornography — it is a plague that we should exclude from our lives at all times and in all places. 

The Greek word poneros is translated as “degenerate” or “diseased.” It carries the meaning of being a deep-rooted virus that spreads its poison with malice, and is the root form of the English word pornography.

At the age of 16, I fell into the addicting and loveless trap of pornography. I am not proud of it; in fact, I regret having ever partaken in the lustful acts. Unfortunately, my horrible mistakes led to feeling empty inside. Fortunately, that emptiness within me eventually brought me to discover the shocking truth about pornography’s damaging and lasting effects it has on millions of people worldwide.

Pornography changes what men and women expect from each other, creates dissociation from reality, destroys relationships, and distorts children’s ideas of sex and sexuality.

Pornography Changes Expectations

1. A University of Alabama researcher and professor of psychology, Dolf Zillmann asserts, “What has been labeled “pornotopia” tells [men] what joys they might, could and should experience…. [men] are readily left with the impression that “others get more” and that whatever they themselves have in the intimate relationship is less than what it should be. This comparison, of which pornography consumers may or may not be fully aware, is bound to foster sexual dissatisfaction or greatly enhance already existing dissatisfaction.” [Zillmann, p. 565-85]

2. In Glamour magazine, an article on body image included “the explosion of porn” on a list of reasons why women struggle with their appearance. The article goes on to say it’s hard for women to find a guy whose standards haven’t been distorted by porn or the media.” [Dominus, p. 219]

3. The images on porn sites/movies do not depict an accurate reflection of real life. Males and females are not going to be airbrushed and flawless when nude. Not all males are going to possess a massive man-stick, six-pack abs, impeccable pectorals, bulging biceps, and to-die-for triceps. In the same sense, a man can’t persistently click on different options to order up the perfect female. Porn sites create unrealistic expectations that will most likely never be matched in real life, which creates disappointments and dissatisfactions in romantic relationships.

Pornography Creates Dissociation From Reality

1. Mark Schwartz, clinical director of the Masters and Johnson Clinic in St. Louis, asserts, “No matter how you look at it, pornography is always a sign of disconnection; those who seek it out often do so because of boredom or dissatisfaction elsewhere in their lives, particularly in their relationships.” [Time.com]

2. Pamela Paul, who has contributed to publications in Psychology Today, states in her book, Pornified, “One of the major attractions of pornography is that it is dissociated from real-life pressures, emotional entanglements, and commitment…. Habitual male consumers of mainstream pornography… appear to be at a greater risk of becoming sexually callous toward female sexuality and concerns.” [Paul, Pamela]

3. Because nudity is so easily accessible online, and sexual desires can be fulfilled by a click of a button, real females become burdens to males who expect women to exist without their own personal agendas. Porn sites/movies create a selfish mindset which delegates a need to please only one. Although it may be easier to dissociate from real life and avoid commitment, it is unhealthy to do so. A healthy romantic relationship is an emotional connection between two people in which they make a dedicated decision to be faithful to one another.

Pornography Destroys Relationships

1. A nationally representative poll found that overall, 34% of women see men using pornography as cheating in absolutely all cases; only 17% of men equated pornography with cheating; and 41% of men say pornography should never be considered cheating when only 18% of women felt the same way. [Pornified/Harris poll]

2. Marlene Spielman, a New York psychotherapist, states, “Men I counsel generally keep pornography a secret from their partners. They know they shouldn’t be doing it because they’re in a relationship because – let’s face it – when you masturbate with pornography, you really are with someone else, one way or another.” [Paul, Pamela]

3. A desire to watch or look at pornography while in a romantic relationship is a sign that there is a flaw within the relationship and is therefore not a healthy desire. A person in a healthy romantic relationship should not only desire to be faithful to his/her partner, but he/she should also desire to refrain from harming said companion. And returning to the nationally representative poll mentioned earlier, men may believe that they are not hurting their partners, when in fact, they are.

4. At an annual meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (a gathering of the nation’s divorce lawyers), nearly two-thirds of the attorneys present accredited the Internet for a rise in divorces; 58% of the rise was the result of a spouse looking at excessive amounts of pornography online. [A.A.M.L.]

5. Time is the only currency humans spend that can never be replenished. Porn sites/movies take away time and energy that could otherwise be spent on growing and nurturing relationships, family, or personal goals. Time spent on porn sites/movies is time wasted.

6. Relationships that need pornography do not coincide with reality. If the love within the romantic relationship cannot ignite a passion that burns outside influence into ash of nonexistence, it is weak and needs to be examined closer. Why would pornography be necessary if your partner was enough? Is the nude body of your partner not enough to cause arousal? If the nude body of your partner was indeed enough to cause arousal, why would pornography be necessary? The passion of a healthy romantic relationship is love. Love exists within a healthy romantic relationship 100% of the time, and a healthy romantic relationship can exist without pornography 100% of the time; therefore, healthy romantic relationships do not need pornography to exist because love exists even if pornography does not exist. Pornography does not originate from love. Everything that is of love belongs in a healthy romantic relationship. Because pornography is not of love, it does not belong in a healthy romantic relationship and is therefore not good and should be excluded.

Pornography Distorts Children’s Ideas Of Sex And Sexuality

1. A 2004 study by Columbia University found that 11.5 million teenagers have friends who regularly view Internet pornography and download it. [Radsch, Courtney]

2. According to a 2001 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, 70% of 15-17 year-olds admitted to “accidentally” stumbling across pornography online. [www.kff.org]

3. A 2004 study by the London School of Economics found that 60% of kids who use the Internet regularly come into contact with pornography. [Mark Prigg and Paul Simms]

4. A study by Congress found that of the nation’s 70 million Internet pornography users, 16% — or 11 million — were under the age of 18. [Washington Post]

5. To know how pornography affects adults is sad, but to know that it affects children is absolutely devastating. Children have a natural inclination to learn and so they absorb information. But the information learned from pornography does not coincide with reality. Furthermore, if children put into practice what they learn from pornography, they will grow to form horrible habits and beliefs that surround the information learned which will make it extremely difficult to correct as time goes on.

So obviously, pornography creates many problems, but the main problem that arises from this contemptible copulation is the deterioration of the meaning of love. Fortunately, there is a solution that will restore the true meaning of love and the answer could be called altruism. For those of you who don’t know what altruism means, it means “the principle or practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to the welfare of others.” [www.dictionary.com] I.e., the answer is to live out the true definition of love — to understand the ramifications of our actions and make choices that are aligned with love. So, how can we live out the true definition of love?)

Be Informed

First and foremost, one must be educated if he/she does not wish to remain trapped within a prison of ignorance. One should possess a desire to know Truth and the perseverance of pursuing it until Truth is obtained. It is quite difficult to live a life of love if one lives a life of complacency. Complacency is “a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger.” [www.dictionary.com] Many people don’t examine the motives of their actions and/or don’t consider the consequences their actions will have on others. Seemingly harmless decisions can produce deadly results.

Think Of Others

You may have free will, but this planet or country was not created for you alone. Everything you do or do not do will produce a consequence whether good or bad. Think before you speak; think before you act. Consider the implications: how far will the reach of your decision extend and whom will be affected?

Practice

In order to formulate a habit or become good at something, one must practice. Michael Jordan became great at basketball because he practiced playing basketball. Tiger Woods became great at golf because he practiced playing golf. Payton Manning became great at football because he practiced playing football. Just as those men practiced to become great in the area of sports, we should practice loving others on a daily basis. Practice thinking of others. Practice considering the consequences before taking action. Practice, practice, practice.

Visualize

1. A transformation has occurred on Earth, in the form of technological advancements, that have developed the world over the past 20 years insomuch that the species who produced the new technologies are the same class of individuals who are now struggling to remain in control over the alteration they have created. There are numerous advancements in the realm of technology that have affected many of people whom are associated by particular categories. One category in particular that technology has affected is the category of romantic relationships; recent technology has enabled pornography to grow; pornography affects romantic relationships. The influence of pornography has completely changed the mindset of romantic relationships and is now dictating how people interact with each other.

2. If the solutions of being informed, thinking of others, and practicing a life of love are not put into practice, bad consequences will ensue [just as they have for quite some time]. Electronic engineering has generated more than mere profit for adult-only stores, it has also produced jealousy amongst males who find it somewhat impossible to compete with what has been created through the means of technology. In the article, “Boys, Don’t Be Jealous of Her Toys – Play Along!,” the author describes his visit to a sex toy exposition:

“Walking around the display halls, I realized that it is impossible for a man to feel good about himself when confronted with a few thousand wall-mounted penis replicas that look as if they had been exposed to radiation at a Nevada test site. A zucchini of such dimensions would win blue ribbons at every county fair…. Can you blame us [for our jealousy]? In case you have been living in some undisclosed location, men now have a set of body insecurities — abs, hair, biceps, rear, teeth — that parallel the ones with which women have long been blessed. And now we have to compete with battery-operated boyfriends. Is it too skinny, too curved, too short? Does it look like Curly from the Three Stooges? Does the helmet remind you of Darth Vader?” (Alexander, Brian)

3. As humorous as the passage in that article is, the feeling of inadequacy is anything but funny for males who are forced to compete with unnatural concoctions (yes, that was an intentional play on words). Most of these machines are bigger than we could ever dream to be, even with the help of another recent invention — Viagra. If women use these monsters to please themselves, is it any wonder that many guys have trouble getting their women to orgasm? At adameve.com, they have a sex toy called the “All American Whopper.” [www.adameve.com] I won’t speak for other males, but the last thing I want to think about when I enter Burger King is how the size of my meat, and the meat I’m about to purchase, doesn’t compare to a different kind of Whopper. From a male’s perspective, sex toys negatively affect romantic relationships; therefore, sex toys also negatively affect romantic relationships for females. If confidence is stripped away from us males, the females will have to rely on themselves for pleasure, which will destroy the romantic relationships between people and would be dysfunctional. A lack of love is not good. Pornography and the branches that stem from it were created out of selfishness and greed, not love.

4. The Bible states, “Be careful that your freedom does not cause those who are weak in faith to fall into sin.” [The Bible, New Century Version. Thomas Nelson, Inc. 2005] Now, even if you don’t believe in GOD or the Bible, I’m sure we can still agree that the message makes sense logically — our actions produce results — results that will either help or harm others. Pornography is a monopoly that exists at the expense of others’ well being. Pornography causes millions of people to fall into what the Bible refers to as “sin,” and experts already agree that it changes what men and women expect from each other, creates dissociation from reality, destroys relationships, and distorts children’s ideas of sex and sexuality.

Positive Reinforcement

Although being informed and being aware of negative consequences benefit us, let us focus on positive reinforcement. Each person is blessed with specific gifts or talents. We are capable of inventing things that can either help or harm (see my argument, “What Are You Creating?). So, why invent things that can harm others? Why create things that are destructive? The effects that technologies have on us are limited by our choices. If we choose to build, construct, or invent on a foundation on love, then the effects of future technologies will lead to many people being helped rather than harmed. Why make choices that will harm others when loving others brings so much joy and fulfillment to the world?

Summary

People all over the world are getting hurt and/or directly/indirectly hurting others because of pornography and its branches of sin. Once again, pornography changes what men and women expect from each other, creates dissociation from reality, destroys relationships, and distorts children’s ideas of sex and sexuality.

Call To Action

I challenge all of you today: if you have any pornography at home, out of love and respect for yourself and/or your significant other, get rid of it! Throw it away! Burn it!  Destroy it! Furthermore, I challenge you to exclude it from your lives in all places and at all times.

Conclusion:

1. The Bible, in James 4:17, it is written: “Anyone who knows the right thing to do, but does not do it, is sinning.” [The Bible, New Century Version. Thomas Nelson, Inc. 2005] Once again, even if you don’t believe in GOD or The Bible, I’m sure we can still agree that the message makes sense logically. And now that you know that Truth about pornography, you no longer have an excuse of ignorance — you are now aware of the dangers that pornography possesses and you will be held accountable. From now on, you know what is right and if you do not do what is right, you will be sinning.

2. The late and great Martin Luther King, Jr. once posed a powerful question to the clergymen of Alabama in his renowned letter, “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.” He asked, “So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate or for love?” [King Jr., Martin Luther] I implore everyone to examine the motives and intentions of each and every choice and decision you make. I choose to live an extreme life of love (not lust), and I urge others to do the same.

In conclusion, sex matters.

What Are You Creating?

In this article, I am going to examine multiple inventions throughout history and challenge you (the reader) to examine your own choices about what you have chosen to create and what you will choose to create. Believe it or not, but you create life or death by everything you say and do.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”
(Genesis 1:1) -NKJV

“Then God saw everything that He had made, and indeed it was very good.”
(Genesis 1:31) -NKJV

GOD created everything and declared that everything GOD created was good. GOD’s desire for our very lives is for us to be good just as He intended us to be. So, if you ever find that your situation isn’t good, GOD didn’t create that situation. GOD created us to be good and to do good things. GOD will allow us to go through bad situations, but GOD doesn’t want us to stay there. GOD wants what is best and what is right for us. Fortunately for us, GOD gave us a good thing called free will – the ability to make our own choices and decisions. Unfortunately, the human race has persisted in sinning since Adam and Eve. And the sin continued with Adam and Eve’s two sons, Cain and Abel. Cain murdered his own brother, Abel. And the sins continued to separate people from GOD as time went on, creating bad situations after bad situations. Humans create the bad that put other humans in bad situations.

(Read my other article, “What About Evil?“)

“But they have acted corruptly toward him; when they act so perversely, are they really his children? They are a deceitful and twisted generation. Is this the way you repay the Lord, you foolish and senseless people? Isn’t he your Father who created you? Has he not made you and established you?”
(Deuteronomy 32: 5-6) -NLT

“Did you create men and women for nothing but this?”
(Psalm 89: 47) -MSG

In Ethan’s prayer, he asked GOD a simple question. The author was asking if they were all created for nothing but war, sadness, etc…. It was a valid question. To him, it seemed like the only thing going on around him was war and sadness. Ethan submitted that question to GOD, but I submit the same question to you. Were you created for suffering? Were you created for sadness? Were you created to have your head hang low in shame? There’s a simple answer to the simple question that was posed – the answer is no. GOD created what was good; GOD created you; therefore, you can be good and do good.

“When you give them your breath, life is created, and you renew the face of the earth.”
(Psalm 104:30) -NLT

“You created me and put me together. Make me wise enough to learn what you have commanded.”
(Psalm 119:73) -CEV

So, why were you created then? For a purpose. GOD did not create us for war, bitterness, sadness, etc. If you’re not doing good things with your life, it’s not because you were created without a purpose, it’s because you’re either not doing the right things or others persist in doing wrong things to you while you’re doing the right things. We are a vessel to be used for either good or evil. In that same sense, humans have created things; those things can be used for either good or evil. GOD gives us the ability to create in the hope that we will use our creativity for good and not evil. There have been many inventions that we’ve created that have been used for evil rather than good. Examine the invention of the knife. A knife is a useful tool that can be used for good; however, if a knife is not used in the right manner, it could become a tool of evil that aids people in an act of murder.

To answer the question of Ethan’s prayer, we must examine GOD’s Word, but we must also examine the actions that we take and the things that we create. GOD’s Word states that we were created for love and fellowship. But what do our actions declare? First, let’s take a look at some evil inventions that humans created.

The atomic bomb was created and used on August 6, 1945 and again on August 9, 1945 when the United States dropped the bombs on the two cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki of Japan. The creation and decision to use the atomic bomb killed an average estimate of around 200,000 people. The nuclear fallout of the blasts led to radiation poisoning and leukemia in many of the survivors.

Sarin gas is a chemical weapon. Sarin is not found naturally in the environment; it is a man-made toxin. The first symptoms of sarin poisoning include a runny nose, blurred vision, sweating, and muscle twitches. Longer exposures result in tightness of the chest, headache, cramps, nausea, vomiting, involuntary defecation and urination, convulsions, coma, and respiratory arrest. Sarin causes the body to lose control and it is unable to function.

The Rack is just one of hundreds of torture devices that have been created by evil through the hands of humans. Designed to dislocate every joint of the victim’s body, it is believed to have been the most painful form of medieval torture. This torture device was made out of a wooden frame with two ropes fixed to the bottom and the other two tied into the handle on top. Once the victim was bound and placed on top of the rack, the torturer would proceed to turn the handle. Eventually, the victim would be stretched until his/her limbs where dislocated. The torturers, however, usually continued to turn the wheel until the limbs where completely torn off the victim’s body.

The three inventions I just listed were created by humans with intentions to harm and not heal. These were creations of  destruction and death. Look at yet another example from history: While a lieutenant in the British Royal Artillery, England’s Henry Shrapnel spent years of his time and a portion of his fortune trying to invent an even deadlier weapon of war. The artillery officer’s self-funded experiments in the 1780’s resulted in the development of a hollowed cannonball filled with lead shot and a small charge that could explode in mid-air over enemy lines to rain down a deadly burst of bullets. Shrapnel named his invention “spherical case shot,” but the exploding cannonballs — those “bombs bursting in air” enshrined in “The Star-Spangled Banner” — quickly came to bear his name. In the early 1800’s, the British Army developed a cylindrical version of a shrapnel shell, and eventually the projectiles inside became unnecessary as the splintering shell casings proved even more lethal. Even after the development of high-explosive ammunition rendered shrapnel shells obsolete, the word “shrapnel” endures to describe any fragmenting artillery shards. GOD did not create us and make us good so that we can use our free will to create the evil of destruction and death.

“My brothers and sisters, you were chosen to be free. But don’t use your freedom as an excuse to live under the power of sin. Instead, serve one another in love.”
(Galatians 5:13) -NIRV

Let us examine some other inventions that humans have created. Cell phones have been quite popular since the early 1990’s, but they only continue to grow in popularity as technology continues to enhance their features and increase quantity of production. Unlike time prior to the early ’90’s, cell phones are now vast in numbers and are relatively inexpensive to own. The days of lovers being forced to reenact Romeo and Juliet are over. No longer do we need to say goodbye all night until the morning comes due to our love’s inability to allow us to part ways. With the technology of cell phones, we are now free to leave the presence of others and still feel close to them; indeed, we are now able to hear our loved ones’ voices without having to be near them. Although some might argue that cell phones prevent them from being able to place healthy distance between themselves and their husband/wives, I disagree. If one were to absolutely need some time alone, it isn’t that hard to turn the cell phone off. And if one doesn’t know how to turn his/her cell phone off, that amazing invention comes with a manual which explains how one could do that. I believe that the phone is an example of a good creation.

If being able to speak to one another without even being in the same vicinity seems exciting, the technology of webcams is bound to be even more exciting than cell phones. Webcams, also being easily accessible, not only allows us to hear our loved ones, but it allows us to see them as well. Between cell phones and webcams, distance is hardly a threat to romance anymore. To merely hear the laughter of a loved one from a long distance away is a blessing, but to be able to witness the smile being produced on his/her face via webcam is priceless. With applications such as FaceTime or Skype, technology helps romance survive even over long distances. Thanks to recent technology, even our soldiers stationed in war zones across seas can keep the flame of passion burning between loved ones despite the distance between them. Of course, people could also use webcams to destroy relationships as well. True, it is just as easy to end relationships with others via webcam as it is to tell them how much you love them, but I believe that this particular creation benefits romantic relationships more often than it harms them.

Unlike webcams, the next topic of interest doesn’t allow others to see the people with whom they are communicating with, yet the anonymity seems to be the attractive force that gathers large groups to converse with each other in the first place. The internet, a fast-paced environment that is suited to provide people with information and help others converse with each other, is affecting romantic relationships unlike any other time in history. Through internet, we are now able to communicate with people who we would otherwise never have met. I have met two of the most beautiful GOD-loving women from using the internet. I did not search for them, but GOD led them to me and now they are two of my best friends whom I can confide in if I need to do so. There are countless numbers of chat rooms that enable people to speak freely about any topic of conversation.

There are many chat rooms that are designated for people who are unhappy with their current relationship status. Some people spend hours online talking to strangers about how unhappy they are with their relationships. I once read a conversation in which a man told others how chat rooms ‘saved’ him from staying in a relationship with the woman who had been his wife for 10 years. This man spent days upon days talking to strangers and sharing everything he didn’t like about the woman until he finally decided to end his marriage. In the chat room, this man thanked all of the strangers who ‘helped’ him end his marriage. Although this man claimed that the chat room ‘helped’ him, some would argue that it actually destroyed a beautiful thing – marriage. One could say that the amount of time that was spent complaining about ‘problems’ could have been used to search for solutions instead. If the man would have used that amount of time to talk to his wife about the issues he was so upset about, the marriage could have been restored. (Read my other article, “Defending Marriage“)

However, for as many people who use chat rooms for negative reasons, there are just as many who use chat rooms for positive things, such as asking others for ideas on how to improve relationships, or to get project ideas or even delicious recipes. And for those not interested in chat rooms, Pinterest is a wonderful app/website to use if you want to discover recipes, home ideas, style inspiration and other ideas to try.

The internet is home to many of technological advancements – all under one cyber roof. One such invention is called an online dating site. Websites such as eHarmony, Match.com, or Christian Mingle attempts to play the role of match-maker by linking lonely individuals together in order to pair them with their potential soul mates. As the testimonials on its website will reveal to you, it has helped many find ‘true love’ just before they gave up hope. eHarmony’s website states, “Why spend hours browsing through personal ads and searching the Internet when you don’t have to?”

However, some might argue, “Why search online at all?” For some, online dating acts as quicksand and keeps them confined in a cyber world, never finding love, because their soul mate is not online. After all, people do tend to spend a lot of their time out and about in the real tangible world, drinking coffee at Starbucks, reading a book in the food court of a mall, walking or jogging on trails, or even watching a movie at the theaters. But then again, you might not ever have  chance to meet that person and the internet might be the only way to begin a conversation with someone.

In contrast to other dating sites which may offer healthy outlets to meet other single people, a website called “Ashley Madison” was created and the sole purpose of its design is found on the website’s slogan: “Life is short. Have an affair.” This entire website was created in order to promote and condone adultery, as it proclaims on its website: “Ashley Madison is the most famous name in infidelity and married dating…. Ashley Madison is the most recognized and reputable married dating company. Our Married Dating Services for Married individuals Work. Ashley Madison is the most successful website for finding an affair and cheating partners. Have an Affair today on Ashley Madison. Thousands of cheating wives and cheating husbands sign up everyday looking for an affair. We are the most famous website for discreet encounters between married individuals. Married Dating has never been easier. With Our affair guarantee package we guarantee you will find the perfect affair partner. Sign up for Free today.” And then in August 2015, the website suffered an attack from hackers and many lives were damaged due to the information leak. But the damage had already been done — the leak only exposed the truth.

In an article, “Not a Pretty Picture,” by Sydney H. Schanberg, he writes on the importance of accuracy and truth when sharing the news by stating that “getting it right means not omitting anything important out of timidity or squeamishness.” In order to analyze what humans have created and how they affect humans, I feel I must take his advice and not omit anything from my findings, no matter how squeamish some people may feel about the topics at hand.

With that said, another creation that shares a home under the cyber roof of the internet is pornography. The topic of porn sites has been discussed on television shows such as The Tyra Banks Show, Dr. Phil, and The Oprah Winfrey Show. The consensus from these shows points out that pornography use increases sexual dysfunction, lowers self-esteem a considerable amount, changes what men and women expect from each other, creates dissociation from reality, and often ruins relationships.

In the book, Writing Arguments, it states, “The hypertext design of Web pages, along with its complex mix of text and image, has changed the way many writers think of argument.” Porn sites state their own argument simply by posting their images for others to see. The argument declares that the images we see are normal, healthy, and acceptable. However, there is strong evidence to counter that statement. Not only does evidence counter that argument, but common sense does as well.

Also found in Writing Arguments, is an important sentence that states, “Anyone with a cause and a rudimentary knowledge of Web page design can create a Web site.” The word, “anyone” should throw up a red flag of warning, along with the word, “cause.” When viewing websites, one should ask, “Who created this website and for what purpose? What is the creator’s motive?” Well, logic declares that porn sites create a selfish mindset which delegates a need to please only one. Unlike the previous technologies mentioned, porn sites do not serve to be useful or helpful for romantic relationships, only harmful. Besides, porn sites take away time and energy that could otherwise be spent on growing and nurturing relationships, family, or personal goals. Time is the only currency humans spend that can never be replenished. Time spent on porn sites is time wasted. I wrote a sermon called “Pervasive Plague” and it is a persuasive argument as to why pornography should be excluded from our lives. In that sermon, I also discussed sins that branch off from pornography.

(Read my other article, “Pornography: The Pervasive Plague“)

Our final stop on the sex-oriented journey comes to a screeching halt at the astonishing discovery of the ultimate slap-in-the-face creation – Real Doll. The invention that inspired the movie, Lars and the Real Girl (2007), comes from the website, http://www.realdoll.com, which creates realistic and life-size dolls that people can purchase and use for sexual relations. Because of this creation, some people now find real relationships to be obsolete. At an average price of $6,000.00, the doll will not argue with you, it won’t gain weight, and it won’t ask you to have dinner with its parents. One can pick what skin tone it comes with, what the face looks like, whether or not it has pubic hair, etc… And for those people who never want to leave La La Land and join the rest of the human population in reality, the website offers the option to create a sex-doll with pointed elf ears for your Lord-of-the-Ring enjoyment. The invention of Real Doll is not just an all-time low for romantic relationships, but it is a disgrace to life itself. And as of November 2016, the creator, Matt McMullen, stated in a Daily Star Online interview that he is working on releasing the “love robot” that is going to be “like real humans” with a “pulse” and “lifelike warm skin” and will even be able to “talk dirty” and “respond” to their human lovers. McMullen said, “I think those kind of things are going to become very commonplace…. It’s inevitable that sex robots and sex dolls and all of that will be no longer looked at as different. We just have to come to terms with each other and say, ‘Okay. That’s for you; this is for me. For some people this is what they really want and it makes them happy. And I don’t think anyone should judge them for that. If the doll makes you happy, that’s all there is.”

But there’s a major problem with McMullen’s careless comment: Happiness is an extremely dangerous path to pursue because moral relativism is absolutely untrue (Read my other article, “Moral Relativism“). Fun is subjective when properly placed into perspective. With a sex-doll and the [soon-to-be] sex robot, sex is no longer a special intimacy between committed couples; consequently, it has now become an expected and unappreciated activity that doesn’t even require the consent of another. This creation does not create relationships; in fact, the invention of the Real Doll sex-doll and sexbot prevents relationships from forming.

I want to dig deeper and explore the topic of creation even further. We may not create inventions, but every person creates life or death, good or evil, with the words that come out of his/her mouth.

“What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words.”
(Proverbs 18: 21) –GNT

“It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”
(Matthew 15: 11) –NLT

“Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you. And do not make God’s Holy Spirit sad; for the Spirit is God’s mark of ownership on you, a guarantee that the Day will come when God will set you free. Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.”
(Ephesians 4: 29-32) –GNT

“The words of the wicked kill; the speech of the upright saves.”
(Proverbs 12: 6) –MSG

“Be careful, however, not to let your freedom of action make those who are weak in the faith fall into sin.”
(1 Corinthians 8: 9) –GNT

“I can guarantee that on judgment day people will have to give an account of every careless word they say. By your words you will be declared innocent, or by your words you will be declared guilty.”
(Matthew 12: 36-37) –GW

In conclusion, many inventions or creations have harmed people and have created destruction and death; however, many inventions or creations have also been able to help people and have created life. Regardless of our feelings towards technology and specific inventions or creations, we must be reminded that it is not technology itself that possesses the capacity to harm or help people. Each person is blessed with specific gifts or talents. We are capable of inventing things that can either help or harm. So why invent things that can harm others? Why create things that are destructive? The effects that technologies have on us are limited by our choices. Even the very words you speak create life or death. If we choose to build, construct, or invent on a foundation of love, then the effects of future technologies will lead to many people being helped rather than harmed. However, if one were to choose a motive aligned with selfishness or evil intent, then the outcome will harm others. I implore everyone to examine the motive of the creation before releasing it to the population. I choose a life of love, and I urge others to do the same.

GOD created us to be good, to do good, to create good, and to experience good things. Don’t look toward the sky and cry while asking why, look toward GOD and tell Him you will try – proclaim to GOD that you will try to be what GOD has called you to be. Unfortunately, there will be bad in life, but I challenge you to do your part to create good. GOD did not create us for sadness, suffering, or anything else that is bad or evil; therefore, you are not meant to create bad situations or inventions that create bad situations. Create something good today, even if that means to simply create a smile for someone else to see. What are you creating in life? What are you going to create today?