If you prefer to read this message, I provided the words below:
The purpose of this message is to reinforce the fact that relationship is the key to the “come and see” opportunity.
“Philip went to look for Nathanael and told him, ‘We have found the very person Moses and the prophets wrote about! His name is Jesus, the son of Joseph from Nazareth.’
‘Nazareth!’ exclaimed Nathanael. ‘Can anything good come from Nazareth?’
‘Come and see for yourself,’ Philip replied.”
(John 1:45-46) -NLT
Chronologically, before this moment of conversation between Philip and Nathanael ever happened, John the Baptist had baptized Jesus (Matthew 3:13-17; Mark 1:9-11; Luke 3:21-22), Jesus was tempted for 40 days in the wilderness (Matthew 4:1-11; Mark 1:12-13; Luke 4:1-13), and John the Baptist had publicly proclaimed Jesus as the promised Messiah that they had all been waiting for (John 1:29-34).
Obviously, Nathanael wasn’t there when John the Baptist proclaimed Jesus as Messiah; otherwise, he would have known who Philip was talking about. In fact, not many people at this point really knew who Jesus was — they only knew Him as the carpenter’s son. This was at the very beginning of Jesus’ ministry. Jesus hadn’t even performed His first miracle yet. When Philip brought Nathanael to Jesus, this was the beginning of Jesus’s ministry when He first started gathering His disciples.
“The following day John was again standing with two of his disciples. As Jesus walked by, John looked at him and declared, ‘Look! There is the Lamb of God!’
When John’s two disciples heard this, they followed Jesus. Jesus looked around and saw them following. ‘What do you want?’ he asked them.
They replied, ‘Rabbi’ (which means “Teacher”), ‘where are you staying?’
‘Come and see,’ he said.”
(John 1:35-39) -NLT
Do you notice something that both stories have in common? In both stories, a person said, “come and see” and then the person/people went and saw. But why? Why did they go and see? In both stories, an established relationship between those people in conversation was the key in convincing the other to go and see. Conversation was the key in convincing the other. That’s important so I’ll say it again, but I’ll say it a little differently: relationship is the key to “come and see.”
Now, we know that Philip and Nathanael were friends because it is written that Philip went looking for Nathanael. You don’t just go looking for people you don’t know, right? (“Helllooooo? Person I don’t know? Where are yooouuuuuu?) Plus, if they weren’t already friends, Philip’s response probably wouldn’t have worked so well. (“Come and see for yourself!”; “I don’t know you, bro!”)
Without that pre-existing relationship, the connection wouldn’t have been possible. Because Philip had a relationship with Nathanael, Philip was able to lead Nathanael to Jesus. Because John the Baptist already had a relationship with his two disciples, he was able to lead them to Jesus.
“Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, was one of these men who heard what John said and then followed Jesus.”
(John 1:40) -NLT
In the very next verse we learn that one of those two disciples who left John the Baptist was Andrew — Simon Peter’s brother! (The second disciple was most likely John — not John the Baptist, but the author of the book!)
“Andrew went to find his brother, Simon, and told him, ‘We have found the Messiah’ (which means “Christ”). Then Andrew brought Simon to meet Jesus. Looking intently at Simon, Jesus said, ‘Your name is Simon, son of John—but you will be called Cephas’ (which means “Peter”).”
(John 1:41-42) -NLT
And in those two verses, it is written that Andrew — because of his relationship with Peter — was able to lead Peter to Jesus!
This is worth repeating over and over again: Relationship is the key to “come and see.”
Application
As a Christian, the ultimate end goal is for us to lead people to Jesus. But how can you lead people to youth group or the main church service unless you have pre-existing relationships with those people? Would people “come and see” if you asked them to come and see? Do they know you well enough to do that? Have you established relationships with the people you would like to invite here? How many of you know that it’s awkward to invite people you don’t know to places they don’t know? (“I know you don’t know me, but you should totally come with me to this place you don’t know.”)
As a pastor, I’m not just concerned with quantity (the amount of people present). I do want a lot of people to come, but I want them here for the right reason. Think about it: when the two disciples left John the Baptist and followed Jesus, Jesus turned to them and asked them, “What do you want?” Wow. It simply wasn’t enough to follow Jesus. Why were they doing it? Jesus essentially responded, “Why are you following me? Do you know who I am and what I’m all about? If you plan on following me, I expect you to know who I am and what I’m all about. Because there’s no sense in you following me unless you’re going to have a desire to do what I’m all about.”
Do you know who Jesus is and what He is all about? Love. Relationships. Relationship is foundational! Without relationship, ministry doesn’t exist! People are more important than programs. Activities can be fun, but they’re meaningless if we’re just trying to force people into our programs. Relationship is the base (foundation) that holds everything else up. People are important and loving people is what I’m all about here.
It is my personal goal that you know and understand that you belong. You’re not an outsider or an outcast. There should be no cliques. I understand that it’s human nature for us to connect better with some people than others. But no one should be excluded and made to feel as if they don’t belong. We are one family. Your joy will be my joy; your troubles will be my troubles; your heartache will be my heartache; if you have something to celebrate, I want to celebrate with you! You need to know that you are loved. A lot of people will say what I’m about to say, but not many people will live up to it: I will take a punch in the face for you, I’ll take a bullet for you, and I’ll even get fired from my job for you. I will put my reputation on the line for you. And it is my hope that you would be willing to do the same for everyone else.
It has been said by many influential people that no one will ever care about what you know until they first know that you care. In my experience, this is true. And as we now know, this is also true from GOD’s Word. Genuine authentic relationships matter. Youth group and/or church service is a place where we can be real with each other. There’s a lot of talk about people having safe spaces. I want youth group and/or church service to be your safe place. I want you to be able to be open and honest and be able to share your struggles and know that you’re going to be loved and everyone is going to have your back. Because the truth is this: we all struggle with something. Even me. Especially me.
Life’s hard. And if it’s easy for you now, just know that it will be harder later on. In life, we will feel pushed to our limits and it’s sometimes overwhelming and you’ll just want to take a nap, like this little girl (video below):
I know. Especially the teenage years. I’ve been there. I remember my teenage years as if they happened last week. To be honest with you, I kinda failed at life during my teenage years.
Deep down we all just want to be loved, cared for, accepted, and not worry about having to impress people all the time. It can be exhausting. But I want you to know that you’re going to be loved and cared for here. And we don’t need to impress anyone. No on here is better than anyone else. We just need to be authentic and genuine. We can be raw, we can be real, but we need to be one. We’re a team. We’re a family.
It all boils down to this: Do you love people? Do you care about people? Do you want what’s best for them? Do you want people to know Truth and to experience eternal joy? It all starts with relationship. And it’s quite possible that you’re in a position right now where you’re doing everything you can to just try to love yourself. I get it. I’m here for you. We are here for you. But it is my goal that we will also be there for everyone else beyond the church walls.
Relationship is the key to “come and see.”
Call To Action
There’s always a new challenge popping up on social media: In fact, I just made one on my TikTok account (@pointlessthorns): #laughwithoutsmiling ! But there’s also been other challenges created: duct tape, duck lips, setting yourself on fire, doing polar bear plunge into freezing water, or even using ice and salt to burn yourself. People are strange. I’m a weirdo, but I’m not that strange. I’m not setting myself on fire. But I want to give you a real challenge that will not only be challenging for you, but it will actually benefit your life and the lives of others if you do it: the “Come And See” challenge.
The ultimate end goal is for you (as a Christian) to be able to invite people to come to youth group and/or church. But as I’ve already said, it’s kinda awkward to invite the people you don’t know to places they don’t know. But by simply introducing yourself to others, getting to know them, and doing intentional acts of kindness, you can build a bridge of trust that will help lead others to Jesus — to a life of love! Relationship is the key to “come and see.” Relationship is the bridge that leads to discipleship. I’ll teach on discipleship at a later time. But for now, just know that it means the process of trying to be like Jesus. Becoming like Jesus is a lifelong process of growth. We’re all growing — even me. I may be a little farther along in the growth process, but I’m still growing and I’m still learning.
So here’s the challenge: I want you to choose three people who need love the most. Who are they? Think of them in your mind right now. You know who needs love the most. After you choose those three people, I want you to do intentional acts of kindness for those people for the next month. Give a compliment, ask how they’re doing (and actually listen to the answer), buy them a snack just because, or even clean up their trash for them. Something. Anything! But show them that they matter! Three people for one month with many intentional acts of kindness in order to love others.
By the end of the month, you should have three new friends. It may sound terrifying — especially if you’re an introvert — but it’s easier than you might think. Here’s some encouragement for you: those who need love the most will typically respond well to acts of love they receive. Those who need love the most are typically those who have been hurt the most. They might be standoffish at first, but that’s just a protective shield they put up so they won’t get hurt again. It is your job to convince them to lower that shield. And you will be able to do that with intentional acts of kindness. Even an abused dog will eventually come and eat food out from your hand after it learns you love it. Intentional and consistent acts of kindness. One month. Three people.
Establishing and building relationships takes time. I understand that. The ultimate end goal is for us to have a solid relationship within the church and then for you to be able to have that relationship with others beyond the church walls, which will give you the opportunity to say to them, “Come and see for yourself.” If we can make our youth group and/or church environment the “come and see” place, then you’ll not only want to invite people, but it’ll also be easy for you to do that.
I Want To Hear From YOU:
Suggestions? For church to become the “come and see” place, what would help create that environment? It’s not only awkward to invite people you don’t know to a place they don’t know, but I understand that you inviting people requires you to put your reputation on the line. So, if this place isn’t a place you would want to invite your friends to, I need to know why so we can try to fix that. What would make it the “come and see” place? Please understand that the goal isn’t to make church the most hip and trendy place. The goal is not popularity. The goal is to make church the most home-like environment so people feel welcomed and comfortable.
I actually want you to put thought into this answer. And also, because I care about you, I care about what you think and how you feel. Your thoughts matter to me; I value your opinions. I just want honesty. I’m looking for genuine and authentic answers. I’m looking for practical solutions to a potential problem. What can we do to make church the “come and see” place? Obviously, we first need to become the “come and see” type of person. And that means we need good relationships. Please repeat after me: Relationship is the key to “come and see.”